Huuuuuur...I just want to die

Discussion in 'Bullying and Violence' started by Aleekhy, Dec 6, 2014.

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  1. Aleekhy

    Aleekhy New Member

    Well,Firstly,Sorry for the bad english,I live in Brazil...

    Okay...
    Three years ago my father died,Then i needed to move to other city because i just have relatives here.
    The first months was cool,A new place to live...
    But,The school...
    A time after the peoples started to hurt me,Idk why the fuck
    At the start of this,Was not a problem cuz this not hurt my psychological.
    Sometime after They had more freedom to hurt me,They know i dont hit back,Was not for fear,I just dont want hit back...
    This made me take a fear of the peoples and of the world,I got Social Phobia,I waste all my fucking days here,On this dark room thinkin about die,
    I dont want to leave my home,Cuz they will hurt me again,Im depressed
    But i need to leave everyday to go to the school,Everyday i need to go to suffer
    I already tried look for help,But nobody can help me
    I cant move to another city cuz my mom dont have money,I cant work cuz im old sufficient to work and i dont want to leave home,so...
    Im here for 3 years,it would be my last year here but i will reprove,I cant live here for more 1 year.
    I dont want to talk about it for my mom cuz,I dont want he knows im a fucking trash and cant defend myself
    My problem is not with girlfriends or something like that futile things
    I dont where to go
    I think on die everyday and everytime,Im still just cuz my family,I dont want my mom suffer more
    But i cant continue suffering just cuz my mom.
    i dont have a solution,Just the dead
    Idk why im writing this,Maybe I still believe someone can save me...
    And i feel me like a idiot writing this on a suicide forum
    If u understood something of this text with too much errors,Can you try...Help me? Please...
    Huuuur
    Can i die?
     
  2. DrownedFishOnFire

    DrownedFishOnFire Quieta non movere

    How many more year of school left and can you look into alteratives like home schooling in your country

    Sorry about mean people making it difficult for you
     
  3. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Hi there, I can definitely relate I refused point blank to leave the house to avoid the bullies 10 years ago (I'm 25 now) I ended up staying in the house for 4/5 years, developed severe anxiety and depression. I would not do it all over again. Think of what your options are, I know you said you cannot move city but can you move school?
    You NEED to tell your mom what is going on at the school. You don't have anything to lose by telling her. We are here for you,l can promise you that much :hug:
     
  4. Aleekhy

    Aleekhy New Member

    I would move school on 2015 if i dont reprove,But i will.
    And if i tell to my mother,I lose my respect,Cuz she will treat me like im weak,Im weak,But nobody need knows...
     
  5. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    I hope you can change schools in 2015. Have a heart to heart with her tell her exactly how you feel. I hope it works out and I'm glad you joined us here :hug:
     
  6. DrownedFishOnFire

    DrownedFishOnFire Quieta non movere

    Don't need to be alone in this, make friends with some other people as will leave you alone if you had people around you
     
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