I’m going through an eating disorder relapse right now, and honestly, I’m struggling a lot.
I’ve been trying to deal with it on my own every day, but it’s getting harder. I have a close friend who has noticed that something is wrong with me. I recently told her that an old problem had come back, but I still haven’t told her that it’s an eating disorder.
I really want to tell her. I think I would feel much less alone if she knew what was actually going on. But at the same time, I’m terrified of saying it out loud. Even writing the words “eating disorder” feels incredibly difficult for me.
I’m also scared because I’ve had experiences where I opened up to people about something very personal and then they left or used my vulnerability against me. So part of me keeps thinking: what if I tell her and then our friendship changes? What if she doesn’t see me the same way anymore? What if we’re already not as close as we used to be, and I end up exposing something extremely personal for no reason?
I also feel guilty because lately I’ve been talking about my problems a lot. I’m afraid I’m becoming annoying and that our conversations are always about me. She still checks in on me and sometimes texts first, so I know she cares, but I keep overthinking every little thing.
I don’t really know what I’m looking for by posting this. I think I just needed somewhere to say it without having to actually say it to someone I know.
Has anyone else been scared to tell a close friend about an eating disorder relapse? How did you know when you were ready?
I’ve been trying to deal with it on my own every day, but it’s getting harder. I have a close friend who has noticed that something is wrong with me. I recently told her that an old problem had come back, but I still haven’t told her that it’s an eating disorder.
I really want to tell her. I think I would feel much less alone if she knew what was actually going on. But at the same time, I’m terrified of saying it out loud. Even writing the words “eating disorder” feels incredibly difficult for me.
I’m also scared because I’ve had experiences where I opened up to people about something very personal and then they left or used my vulnerability against me. So part of me keeps thinking: what if I tell her and then our friendship changes? What if she doesn’t see me the same way anymore? What if we’re already not as close as we used to be, and I end up exposing something extremely personal for no reason?
I also feel guilty because lately I’ve been talking about my problems a lot. I’m afraid I’m becoming annoying and that our conversations are always about me. She still checks in on me and sometimes texts first, so I know she cares, but I keep overthinking every little thing.
I don’t really know what I’m looking for by posting this. I think I just needed somewhere to say it without having to actually say it to someone I know.
Has anyone else been scared to tell a close friend about an eating disorder relapse? How did you know when you were ready?