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i am a bullyer

Discussion in 'Bullying and Violence' started by mathie51, Mar 2, 2017.

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  1. mathie51

    mathie51 Member

    yeah it true!

    20 year ago i gave a man a free punch in his face it was a kind of humiliation in from of others! (i'm not telling you the other hundred story i got of bulling someone!)

    last week i was with both my children and i met this guy that i've punched 20 years ago!

    bang! i started crying in front of my kids!(please no pitty for me i truly deserve it!) it was clear to me at that moment: what you do to other you do to your self!

    I told him sorry to interrupt but i'm the guy .... and i wan to say i'm really sorry. Event after telling him sorry ... today i'm not felling better about it, today i'm just more and more sneaky in my bulling technique.

    the worst is i knew more good thing now then before but i'm still not using it for the good!

    i am a fu..... bullyer , sorry about that!
  2. Sunstealer

    Sunstealer Well-Known Member

    Well if you lived in my country you would probaly end up in jail. If you go around punching people, you would be sure to get in trouble with the police. And i agree with you that you deserves getting punched. It seems like you know its wrong to do these things, so why do you do it?
  3. Walker

    Walker Everything Zen Staff Member Safety & Support SF Social Media SF Supporter

    Hey there
    So what did the guy say to you when you went up to him?
  4. Evangeline

    Evangeline Well-Known Member

    Sadly it isn't always as easy as seeing something is wrong. You can't always change such things easily.
    Same as seeing you keep forgetting things. You can't just say "hey I shouldn't forget things anymore" it isn't that easy.

    It is a good first step though...seeing something is wrong. But you got to try to keep working on it @mathie51. Just keep trying to move forward with little things at a time, it isn't gonna change suddenly, but it can change.

    Evangeline (Eve/Evan)
    justrob, Brian777 and may71 like this.
  5. Sunstealer

    Sunstealer Well-Known Member

    @Evangeline, If you see something you do is wrong, you can change behavior acordingly. Hes 37 years old, he should know this. I was a fucking asshole when i was young. When i was 25 i saw the error of my ways, so i changed. All it took was the love of a good woman. If i can change so can he. Im just not sure he want to change. Doesnt sound like it. So i hope justice will catch up with him, so he eighter get his ass kicked so he never foggets it or the law gets him.
  6. may71

    may71 Well-Known Member

    Everyone has some misdeeds in life.

    Mattie, you may have done some bad things in the past, but it is good that you now regret these things and what to make changes for the better.

    You seem to be striving to follow a better path. Please keep striving in that direction.
    justrob and Brian777 like this.
  7. mathie51

    mathie51 Member

    now i say sorry to people i did something wrong in the pass but that the obivious part of beiing a bullyer at least for me that part is long gone! but still today this destructive thing is killing me surely but slowly im the one who i bully now! but im still a bullyer! :(
    justrob likes this.
  8. mathie51

    mathie51 Member

    it was in a prison for children from 14 to 18 here in canada , no adult was around, the guy was just a normal guy not kind of defending him self and everyone knew it, i was not a physical person so other asked me to punch him, you know to be part of the thought guy so i did it and i instant regret it but i did not show to others i was a shame of it until when i met him at the market.

    and the thousand other bully i did was not physical violence but verbal and lie to people i love.
    justrob likes this.
  9. mathie51

    mathie51 Member

    it was in jail so i would have go to isolation but i did not get caught they guy in question never said anything about it! and the others was thriving on it so no need to say they will not have said a thing about it too and me i was not taking thing enough seriously to understand that i should have said something about it cause i knew it was wrong!
    justrob likes this.
  10. mathie51

    mathie51 Member

    i knew it was wrong before i did it but still i did it and never apologize for it. my moral was: that thing was eating me from the inside and i did not knew it until i met him like 25 year later! in other word i did carry that punch all my life and i will continue to do!

    Maybe 1 bullier will understand me and not bully just for 1 day, it can save "2" lifes :)
    justrob likes this.
  11. Inanimate

    Inanimate Well-Known Member

    Whether or not he wants to change his behavior is only an assumption, but he's exhibiting remorse regardless. Let's not be so quick to shun him.
  12. Karlski

    Karlski Well-Known Member

    On The Big Bang Theory Leonard meets his school bully. The guy is really nice to his face when they first meet but the moment he gets drunk, he starts acting like a twat, and his bullying behavior comes straight back again.

    I believe in the saying, 'once a bully, always a bully.'
  13. justrob

    justrob Keep on keeping on.

    Hey, I don't deserve the light and love I get, but I accept it, and try to return it to others. SF is a safe place for everyone, I am not sure @mathie51 felt that safe here. @mathie51 is not here for those that suffer abuse to exact some sort of retribution. He is here because he is hurting like the rest of us, please cut him some slack. @mathie51 I hope you find the solace you are looking for and become the man you want to become.
    Miserable&Worthless and Shorty92 like this.
  14. -L-

    -L- Member

    Well ... I'm going to say what I think.

    Surely you did a lot of damage, that happened and it is clear, but you are completely sorry, to the point that you went to ask for forgiveness (I do not know how he will have taken it) few people who make mistakes in the past after he regrets and much less ask for forgiveness, it was 20 years ago, it seems that you have matured about then, you can feel proud of that at least.

    In my case, I have suffered bullying many years in school, psychologically more than physical, do you know how they treated me years later when I met them in the street? Looks of contempt (or even mocking smiles) similar to when we were in school, I wish some of them would have come to me and apologized.

    (I'm sorry for my English, my native language is Spanish)
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