I am a subhuman and actively getting worse

[Pi33baby]

I am recessed with subhuman features
No amount of makeup will fix my face or body
I will never be liked or adored by anyone

because of this ive stopped taking of myself
I dont brush my teeth anymore and have recessed gums and bad breath
I havent eaten a meal in over a week
I am planning on bleaching my body in order to keep myself hopeless if I cant get the balls to off myself

 

[Walker]

Hi there, welcome to SF. We're glad you're here. How long have you been feeling this way. Sounds like this isn't a recent turn of events happening. Have you been able to talk to anyone about this?

 

[Daphna]

I am recessed with subhuman features
No amount of makeup will fix my face or body
I will never be liked or adored by anyone

because of this ive stopped taking of myself
I dont brush my teeth anymore and have recessed gums and bad breath
I havent eaten a meal in over a week
I am planning on bleaching my body in order to keep myself hopeless if I cant get the balls to off myself

You are a human. You are not lower than that. Your body is the temporary outer shell of a beautiful spirit. That spirit is what defines you. What you do with your spirit determines what kind of human you are. If you’re unhappy with how you’ve used your body and spirit to this point, you can change. While you are alive, you can change. You can hope. If you need guidance, pray for help. Our spirit does not exist independently. Praying for you.

 

[JDot]

Hi @Pi33baby I'm sorry you're hurting. You'll always have a place here to share your thoughts and feelings. We're glad to have you here. And we're here for you.

 

[may71]

Maybe there's a way that you can find a romantic relationship, and you're selling yourself short.

It's also possible to find meaning in life without romantic relationships. Some people even find that their lives are better without having romantic relationships at all.

Sending hugs

 

[randomname1000]

Have you ever considered making some art? Whether its poetry, painting, sculpting, performing, etc it can be a great outlet for these feelings that you're having. I know that this might sound like a dumb suggestion but give it some thought. Your writing is very powerful, and I think you could make something special with it.

 

[The Tigress ♡]

Hey, just dropping by to see if everything is okay.
Check in soon alright ?

 

[neutralbuoyancy]

I am recessed with subhuman features
No amount of makeup will fix my face or body
I will never be liked or adored by anyone

because of this ive stopped taking of myself
I dont brush my teeth anymore and have recessed gums and bad breath
I havent eaten a meal in over a week
I am planning on bleaching my body in order to keep myself hopeless if I cant get the balls to off myself

can i ask what you mean by subhuman features? just curious, also um how bad are your gums? because my mom had the issue of recessed gums well they were starting to so she used black seed oil to gargle and then rubbed activated charcoal powder into her gums and she said it felt a bit better

 

[Mr.notduck]

I am recessed with subhuman features
No amount of makeup will fix my face or body
I will never be liked or adored by anyone

because of this ive stopped taking of myself
I dont brush my teeth anymore and have recessed gums and bad breath
I havent eaten a meal in over a week
I am planning on bleaching my body in order to keep myself hopeless if I cant get the balls to off myself

I usually go with branding. Small dots from a red hot paperclip slowly spiraling out in places that no one not even lovers would see them. The days of melting oozing skin serves as a painful reminder that I'm not worth loving. And the revolting appearance makes me sure of it. I'm not sure it matters anymore. But that has talked me off a couple of ledges. The intense blinding white hot pain pulls me out of my mind. Only way Ive ever figured out how to not step off the chair anymore. Luckily I was too young to figure out knots and load bearing before i got something to cope.

 

[neutralbuoyancy]

wait so you brand yourself? (also not to offend you but don't people mostly use branding to ward off others?) i mean honestly all are worth loving but i feel the worst part of is giving up hope

 

[neutralbuoyancy]

also mr.notduck please please do not do this to yourself, pain may be the very thing stopping u but tomorrow it might the very thing to no stop you so please, self harm is never good, please let yourself heal. i feel like one must learn to love themselves before they can learn to accept love from others. in all honesty, is acceptance what you are looking for? comfort? i do want to help you with all my heart but i do not know how (srry I wrote this i
in an hard to understand order, as i am typing my thoughts as i am thinking them)

 

[Mr.notduck]

wait so you brand yourself? (also not to offend you but don't people mostly use branding to ward off others?) i mean honestly all are worth loving but i feel the worst part of is giving up hope

yes, as horrible as it is i do that. haven't in a while till 2 nights ago and i was to drunk to correctly bend and sterilize a tool, just straight up used a cigarette and the top part of a lighter. these are not artful or well hidden; just panic burns, till i didn't feel like finishing the episode. its the only thing that stopped me.

 

[Mr.notduck]

also mr.notduck please please do not do this to yourself, pain may be the very thing stopping u but tomorrow it might the very thing to no stop you so please, self harm is never good, please let yourself heal. i feel like one must learn to love themselves before they can learn to accept love from others. in all honesty, is acceptance what you are looking for? comfort? i do want to help you with all my heart but i do not know how (srry I wrote this i
in an hard to understand order, as i am typing my thoughts as i am thinking them)

Thats ok. ducks mate for life. even if the other isn't there a mallard will sit on that nest.

 

[neutralbuoyancy]

Thats ok. ducks mate for life. even if the other isn't there a mallard will sit on that nest.

i hope i can count on it, please live long and im too much of a coward to end myself too so i'll be duck mates with you for life so please do not harm yourself either (i know you said it was just an episode but the bleaching thing made me worried please do not do that to your self you are not a livestock you are human) im hells, nice to meet you

 

[neutralbuoyancy]

i have realized im sorry now i confused u two together

 

[neutralbuoyancy]

I am recessed with subhuman features
No amount of makeup will fix my face or body
I will never be liked or adored by anyone

because of this ive stopped taking of myself
I dont brush my teeth anymore and have recessed gums and bad breath
I havent eaten a meal in over a week
I am planning on bleaching my body in order to keep myself hopeless if I cant get the balls to off myself

please don't bleach yourself, and please take better care of yourself because for a human no matter who you turn to the very first person who can help you is you, please keep checking in with us, i worry about you

 

[Mr.notduck]

i hope i can count on it, please live long and im too much of a coward to end myself too so i'll be duck mates with you for life so please do not harm yourself either (i know you said it was just an episode but the bleaching thing made me worried please do not do that to your self you are not a livestock you are human) im hells, nice to meet you

Oh, no that was not me. I just have a terrible coping mechanism... my fiance probably just left me 2 days ago. We are going to try and work on it Thursday but i just can't see her actually giving me another shot.

 

[neutralbuoyancy]

Oh, no that was not me. I just have a terrible coping mechanism... my fiance probably just left me 2 days ago. We are going to try and work on it Thursday but i just can't see her actually giving me another shot.

i see