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I am my depression

Discussion in 'Mental Health Disorders' started by 880088, May 30, 2014.

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  1. 880088

    880088 Member

    I feel I have no more identity. My sickness has become my self. I am at the point that I glorify, and aestheticize my suffering. Maybe that is why I have gone so long without help.

    I am at the point where I have to look in the mirror remind myself that I am a person.

    Has anyone else experienced this?
  2. morning rush

    morning rush Well-Known Member

    today I feel a bit like you said, I feel like I'm a fake, like I'm not real. I've never felt like that before, so it's a bit weird for me..how long have you been feeling like this?

    ps: I like your avatar, it looks like hachi from the nana manga
  3. 880088

    880088 Member

    Only one year, but it has been consistent. My current life circumstances do not help. The few friends I do have encourage me to keep this way of thinking.

    I wish I could offer you some help, but really there is nothing I can say. Just know I empathize because it is truly a horrible feeling.

    (Yeah it is Hachi! I relate to her so much. I had a woman like Nana in my life, but I lost her.)
  4. Unknown_111

    Unknown_111 Forum Buddy Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Firstly welcome to the forum, 880088. You feel low at the moment, like you when you look in the mirror I see a reminder of former myself. Living with depression is hard but it's seems like life becomes complete painless. You think what is the purpose of life but there is a purpose. Currently I keep dragging myself from the floor virtually everyday but I do not understand what keeps me going. I don't know if it is this forum but I'm still here today.

    Don't despair about life, it has a habit of sorting itself out. You will be fine, I know it's simple to say but let me re-assure you are among the nicest bunch of people here. Do not think you are alone, keep posting and take care..
  5. 880088

    880088 Member

    Thank you for your kind words. I'm really trying.
  6. morning rush

    morning rush Well-Known Member

    yeah it is a horrible feeling, I wonder what causes it, maybe a trigger somehow? Have you tried talking to a professional about it? just as to get information on it, and maybe how to deal with it?

    today I'm so so, but I hope this doesn't happen too often...

    yeah I like hachi too :) Nana is nice, I think that the two nana sort of complete each other in a sense. But I relate to hachi more than nana as well...
  7. demuredawn

    demuredawn Well-Known Member

    with me its a bit diff... but similar too.. i have BPD (borderline personality disorder), and because of that.. a lot of people will refuse to take me seriously when i express negative emotions... they simply imply or outright state that it is my BPD talking, not me.. it frustrates me, because I am human too.. which means I have legit emotions too.. both good and bad... I dont understand why I'm not allowed to admit/show those emotions that are not pleasant without it being attributed to my BPD... so yea... I guess I am my disorder too... so I understand
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