I am so unloved

[White Dove]

I am so unloved....

those close to me that should love me do not love me..

the minister and his wife that i hold dear in my heart do not love me.. they never loved me...

i have no friends that are right here close to me that love me..

i dont see why in the world it is so hard to do.. why is it so hard for the minister and his wife to help me to ease my mind..

i cant come before the Lord until things between us are straightened out and my time is running out..

i want to just give up , right now , tonight...

why should i even force myself to stay here with a hope that i can at least be just on speaking terms with them or at least make things right , etc?

i just cant do it... i just cant...

they dont care..

nobody cares...

i am just so unloved and it hurts..

it is really hurting me tonight...

i know they read this..

is there not any love for me? just a little? do you want me to go to hell cause thats where im headed anyway... ?

i dont want to do it..but i dont want to hurt anymore either...

you never loved me did you? you dont care it torments my mind? you dont care my spirit is in pain and hurting?

why cant you just love me???

why cant you just care??

Guess i was right all along...

YOU NEVER CARED AT ALL FOR ME...

WELL TOMORROW IS SUNDAY..

SORRY SF... I TRIED. I REACHED OUT TO THEM... BUT THEY DIDNT CARE.. THEY DONT CARE AT ALL.. I WAS STUPID TO BELIEVE THEY DID.. I AM UNLOVED AND I SHOULD HAVE KNOWN THAT NO ONE COULD EVER LOVE ME..

THIS LITTLE WHITE DOVE , HAS MORE THEN A BROKEN WING IT HAS A BROKEN MIND AND HEART NOW.. IT SHOULD OF KNOWN.. I SHOULD HAVE KNOWN..

Take care everyone... Sorry i couldnt be of help to any of you...

 

[White Dove]

Yep I Am Unloved...

Sorry Everyone..

I Have Tried To Help.. I Have Tried To Be Strong But Cant..

 

[Beret]

YOU ARE NOT UNLOVED HUN :hug:

 

[White Dove]

YOU ARE NOT UNLOVED HUN :hug:

But i am...

I am unloved by the Daltons... because they can not find it in their hearts to come and speak with me.. They can not find it in their hearts to help me put my mind and spirit at ease... It is killing me that they do not care when i have held them so close to my heart and it hurts.. it is really hurting tonight and im sorry.. im sorry to everyone that has ever been hurt by me... I mean no harm to anyone and i am so sick of myself because i am not worth it... If the minister and his wife can understand and see that i am not worth it, that my spirit is not worth it then i should do the same..

I am unloved by God because he gave me this stupid cancer or he allowed it to happen to me... if he loved me then it would not even be in my body but it is and i am dying.. one way or the other my life is over and i am chosing the path i should have taken a long time ago.. i cant get back on the other path cause the Daltons dont love me enough to help ease my trouble mind so i can die in peace.. And God sure does not care or else he would not have hardened their hearts...

i am unloved by others and so alone.. it is just a matter of time now anyways.. either i take the shortest route or the long painful route.. it will still end.. Today is sunday.. the Daltons did not call or come by and therefore that means they really do not care.. it is best for everyone if i do go on and go...

I have pleaded my case and i practly begged for their forgiveness and for their understanding because i needed it in order to be right with God... It is God i hurt the most.. i let a kid use my computer because i thought she was doing school work yet at that time she was reading my diary and posting and writing things.. She admitted parts of it but when it was way too late now.. The damage was already done and my reputation was already sent to be bad.. and with my stupid things i did back then i can fully understand why i am done this way.. and the worst part of it is they dont know how badly my heart has been hurt or is hurting because of it.

Not only is my heart hurting but my mind is hurting also.. i cant do it anymore and i apologize to those online here that say they do care.. forgive me??? I have tried to help others here but have even failed at that..

I have tried to reach out to the Daltons because they are the only ones that can ease my mind yet they really do not care.. i am finally begining to see that they really do not care and that i am truly and totallly unloved and it hurts , but i deserve it and i sure do not blame them at all....

I am broken so much right now. i am broken in mind , in spirit , in love and in my heart and the only thing that can fix it will never happen cause they just do not care. today is sunday and it is the Lords day.. Bible states when one passes away their spirit goes back to God and i believe that.. i really do..

I am sorry everyone.. i know i have been a pain in everyones eyes and i apologize for that.. this pain in your eyes will go away now..

You know what would have changed things?

THE DALTONS AT LEAST JUST TALKING WITH ME SO I COULD PUT MY MIND AT EASE.. IF ONLY THEY HAVE CARED.. IF ONLY THAT HAD LOVED ME.. EVEN JUST A LITTLE BIT BUT THEY DID NOT , THEY DO NOT CARE FOR MY SOUL NOR TO HELP PUT MY MIND AT EASE .. PERHAPS THIS IS THEIR WAY OF GETTING REVENGE?? WELL IF IT IS THEN I GUESS IT HAS WORKED..

I got to get off here now..

please do not give up on your life???

you all have a chance.. me on the other hand has wasted all of my chances... take care...

LOVE YOU ALL

WHITE DOVE

 

[kindtosnails]

You are not unloved. i'm sure there are many more than you could imagine who love you and care about you. God does love you. He loves you so much he wants you back with Him. i'm sorry, i wish i knew the words to say, i can't imagine the pain you're in. i hope that you are safe. :sad:

x

 

[swimmergirl]

How can anyone love you if you don't love yourself?

 

[pisces-music-girl]

How can anyone love you if you don't love yourself?

That was slightly insensitive, but I see your point.

White Dove, I know what you're getting at, though on a lesser scale. It was hard to spend nine months with my dad unemployed (my dad, being the primary breadwinner, took this extremely hard)- even I had to glance skyward sometimes and just ask, "Why? Why us?"

I've never had cancer, but it's not a new thing to me: I've lost people in my family to it (my grandfather, especially), and every few months or so, it just seems that "Oh, Uncle so-and-so has cancer now"

Have you tried to contact the Daltons recently?

And remember that I'm here for you, and rooting for you too. :hug: Don't give up.

 

[WindWalker]

To dwell on things like this is not good. Let it go, that is the only way you will have some sense of peace. Who really cares what they think? You certainly shouldn't. The way I see it, if people care that little for me they don't deserve a second thought.

 

[White Dove]

Thank you..

to all those that replied...

i am just in an emotional wreck right now and the tears will not stop..

i see only one way right now and im sorry.. im sorry to everyone... it appears i have no choice right now... i am so sorry..

Love you all...

 

[Darkness N Light]

White Dove,
Hey sweetie I am so sorry that you feel that way. We all love you on here. So please do not feel that you are totally unloved. If you need to talk I am only a pm away. Take care and I love you. :hug: :cheekkiss :hug: :cheekkiss :hug: :cheekkiss :hug: :cheekkiss

With Love,
Crystal :hug: :cheekkiss

 

[wizardjack]

if your impression of love is true than no one loves anyone

 

[Esmeralda]

Honey, the Daltons are uncharitable, unChristian jerks. If they refuse to talk to you, then PLEASE do not let their lack of compassion mar your life. Try as hard as it is to move on and let them go in your heart and in your mind. You will be so much happier for it.

And to say that God does not love you because of the cancer? Well, that is just the pain talking. You and I both know what Jesus Christ went through, and He was the Son of God...God could not have loved Him more, but His suffering was necessary.

Please try and offer every pain, every sad and desperate moment in your life up to God out of love and penance. I really believe you can find peace, S. I really do, but you have to try to learn to let go. :hug:

 

[White Dove]

Honey, the Daltons are uncharitable, unChristian jerks. If they refuse to talk to you, then PLEASE do not let their lack of compassion mar your life. Try as hard as it is to move on and let them go in your heart and in your mind. You will be so much happier for it.

And to say that God does not love you because of the cancer? Well, that is just the pain talking. You and I both know what Jesus Christ went through, and He was the Son of God...God could not have loved Him more, but His suffering was necessary.

Please try and offer every pain, every sad and desperate moment in your life up to God out of love and penance. I really believe you can find peace, S. I really do, but you have to try to learn to let go. :hug:

Thanks peanut..

But you know that is so hard to do????

i have such a huge burden and a big troubled mind and spirit right now... I cant find any peace of mind because all i have ever read in the bible and studied = and i have studied a lot and went through every single online bible lesson and in church lessons = and to my understanding , one can not fully come to God until peace is made between a brother..

Well is the Daltons not a fellow brother and sister in Christ???

It worries me.. it really does and the worst part is the fear.. fear that i will go someplace else because i cant get peace with them.. fear that i cant make it into heaven.. Fear that if i cant get peace with them then i cant be right with God and that God would not even accept my prayers or accept me...

i know .. it sounds crazy.. i must really be totally nuts.....

but thats not all.. it is the fear of the cancer also.. i really dont want to go through it yet i have no choice.. i have to take it and it scares me.. Maybe i should be called a scaredy cat?????

but seriously , the fear , the pain, the troubled mind and spirit. it is wearing me down..

 

[Esmeralda]

:hug: I know you are afraid, and I know you hurt. And I cannot pretend to know exactly how you feel.

I know you are worried that you cannot go to Heaven because you can't make things right with the Daltons, but this is not true. First of all, YOU did nothing wrong, it was your niece who hurt the Daltons. Just because they believe it was you does NOT mean you are at fault at all!

For references from the Bible, look at Paul the Roman. How could he make it right with the people he persecuted and put to death for being Christians? He could not. And the criminal crucified beside Jesus...he could not make things right with the people he stole from, murdered, etc. But they are both living (yes! LIVING) in Paradise right this very moment. God is a God of love. And He loves YOU and He knows your heart, and if your heart is right with the Lord, then you WILL enter Heaven.