I am too nice...

[Kassy]

For years, my husband did not work because of a ton of reasons and I let it go this way, as I work full time plus a lot of overtime and he was doing the cleaning of the house.

Now, I am paying a high price for this : If I want to divorce, I probably will have to pay him a sum of money...as I did pay for him for the last 12 years. I mean IT IS NOT MY FAULT if he did not work. It should be on his back.

And it initially costs 1500$ to START the file and probably 2 or 3 times that amount in total. I DONT HAVE THAT MONEY...I can bearly pay for 2 appartments....

Is there another solution than :
a) find a rich guy and fall in love with him
b) buy a ton of lottery tickets
c) kill myself

 

[In Limbo]

Have you considered separating without divorce?

 

[Terry]

Get some good legal advice.
If he hasnt worked because of illness then you may have to pay, but if it was just he didnt want to I dont see why you should have to go on supporting him.

 

[cannolongercope]

When a couple chooses to have one be the homemaker and the other make the money it does mean that when they decide to part that the homemaker is taken care of until they can get on their feet. That is fair.

The seperation will have a limited time that you will have to pay him to get on his feet. This is not a good time due to the bleak job marketn. I feel for you.

Live and learn; I am sure you won't let this happen in your next relationship.

Take care.

 

[peacelovingguy]

You won't have to pay forever - as for being too nice - well maybe - any man sitting about the house whilst his woman works - I cannot see it myself - I'd feel - pretty useless actually - but it would be like the cleanest house ever! Loft extension - new garage - I mean what's the deal there? Does he like daytime TV?

Well - its worth paying to get rid of him - and if you have no children - all he needs is a tent really - lol. A bedsit will suffice but seek legal advice!

Might be ways to make sure you pay a minimum.

This is a downside of sexual equality - I mean ok - if a women earns a lot more than a man - maybe he could stay at home - but with no kids - that's like easy!

Got to say - I'd have to get a job at that point!!!

Anyhow - better luck next time - sounds like your better off rid of him - plus hopefully you find a man who is already working - and has his own place!

Insane law - I can think of a LOT of men who would manipulate that one - shameful actually that a man would ride off a women's hard work in that way - its not that your too nice - more a case of the law being insane!

That is not your fault.

In the UK - the state would pay for him.

Your money would be yours.

I think any man living off a woman is a freeloader.