I am very sick, perfectionism made be helpless and very twisted

[jimwood777]

I may be the strangest human alive. I obsess over little things like a misspelled word in a letter to a love interest in 1989. People usually feel better about themselves with others imperfections, so why can't I be happy with other people respecting you more when you are vulnerable and human, a very good thing? I am such a poor loser. How do I humble myself, fixations are tearing me apart. I am very suicidal and need all the love and support I can get. Sometimes these things don't bother me at first then I feel inferior in the long run. One man said time heals all wounds, but I am getting worse? Please help, I need a life but don't have one.

Jim

 

[sbm1990]

Im on the same boat as you, man. I constantly dwell over my past mistakes and how i seldomly ever stood up for myself due to fear of humiliation. I try to make myself pretend that nothing bothers me, but deep down inside, im a wounded soul that cant help but dwell on negative thoughts.

 

[total eclipse]

Have you been to a professional perhaps a therapist even to get some help It is hard when people attack you but you have to know that the person who does that has a problem within themselves as well.

 

[Dark]

As previously mentioned, have you sought professional help yet? I apologise if I come across as too direct. I'm in no position to give a diagnosis, but do you think you have some sort of compulsive/ obsessive disorder? It could be that and in conjunction with this, a lack of genuine support and rapport human beings need in their lives.

I tend to obsess over the seemingly little and unimportant details in life too. For me personally, I think I have these thoughts and behaviours from failing long term goals and relationships, so I divert it into these minor insignificant tasks as a "pain mechanism" to take my mind away from failures. Perhaps it's similar for you? I would see a good therapist and find the root cause of the behaviours, perhaps you just need to examine where these thoughts stems from.

 

[bayareagirl]

Professional help and treatment may be a good start. In the meantime, what small steps would feel comfortable to build the life you are looking for? I've been to OCD meetings and met other severe OCD cases in treatment programs. You are not alone and there is help if you are willing to try.