CF, I only know all too well about,after an experience with a friend in school, so I know nothing I say about that will equal anything of real value, so just know I wish you well and give you this encouragement: "Go, you big red fire engine!" (somewhere might know what I mean by that).
Still, I will not even try and attempt to say anything about your dad, since you alone knows your relationship with him, but at least you should know that how you are feeling now is a part of grief and comes to everyone when death occurs to someone a person knows and with the passage of time, the pain you feel, which is necessary, does pass, so long as you keep your sights set on tomorrow.