I can't cope with this

[Exist]

I just can't cope with the stress of everyday life. I hate myself so much. I've been given a chance to fit in and function in society with my new job, but I can't cope with the stess that everyone else seems to be able to cope with. I made a mistake at work, and suddenly all the staff were telling me off, making me sign a statement saying I did a bad thing, making me retrain. After that it seemed everything was just going wrong. Every small little mistake fuelled a whirlwind of self doubt and self criticism in my head. My mind telling me over and over "your useless, you should quit, you should kill your self, here's some ideas of how you could do it"- I just couldn't control it. I was tearing up and feeling like a panic attack was coming, all the while trying desperately to compose myself in front of my coworkers. I self harmed on my breaks, just trying to take the edge off and to feel a release of this overwhelming stress. I began to detach from my surroundings, the ground was moving under my feet, everything seemed like it was all happening around me, and I wasn't part of it. This kind of thing always happens whenever I'm stressed. I was so close to just walking out and giving up.

If such a small incident at work causes all this, how am I going to cope for the rest of my life. Every day seems like it could be the day that breaks me, and I feel like I could commit suicide as a result of one more really bad day. I'm on the edge. Top it off with the fact that my mental health services are messing me about, giving me an appointment in mid October which isn't soon enough. I need to review my medications and treatment plan if I've any hope of beginning to cope with this. But they just don't seem to care

I'm stuck. I don't know how I'm gonna last another week. I've been this low before, and it's always preceded a crisis. Seems to me like I'm on the very edge of another crisis, with the end of my life seeming very possible soon

 

[Were all together]

Hello@Exist,

First, are you taking any meds for Anxiety? Seems to me, you may have suffered from an attack.

 

[Paisley]

I'm sorry that your next appointment is so far away. Maybe you could try researching coping strategies in your spare time? It could give you something constructive to focus on, and might reveal some ways of getting through this particularly difficult time. Posting here on SF is another thing you can do to make the waiting period go by more quickly, so I hope you continue to use this forum for support.

 

[Exist]

Hello@Exist,

First, are you taking any meds for Anxiety? Seems to me, you may have suffered from an attack.

Yes, take pregablin (anti anxiety) and have Propranolol PRN for panic attacks so I can take that when I feel I need it, but go figure I had run out when I looked for them.

 

[Exist]

I'm sorry that your next appointment is so far away. Maybe you could try researching coping strategies in your spare time? It could give you something constructive to focus on, and might reveal some ways of getting through this particularly difficult time. Posting here on SF is another thing you can do to make the waiting period go by more quickly, so I hope you continue to use this forum for support.

Thank you, I do find this forum a useful coping strategy so I'm greatful for all replies I get

 

[Were all together]

Yes, take pregablin (anti anxiety) and have Propranolol PRN for panic attacks so I can take that when I feel I need it, but go figure I had run out when I looked for them.

How long has it been, since you took your last dose?

 

[Exist]

How long has it been, since you took your last dose?

I take pregablin daily in the morning (150mg) and I last took Propranolol(40mg) yesterday and didn't realise I had none left in my coat today until I went to look for them

 

[Were all together]

I take pregablin daily in the morning (150mg) and I last took Propranolol(40mg) yesterday and didn't realise I had none left in my coat today until I went to look for them

Did this incident happen today?

 

[Exist]

Did this incident happen today?

Yes

 

[Paisley]

I take pregablin daily in the morning (150mg) and I last took Propranolol(40mg) yesterday and didn't realise I had none left in my coat today until I went to look for them

Sorry if this is a silly question, but did you tell mental health services that you're out of your PRN? That seems like a problem that needs to be remediated as quickly as possible and if they're aware of that issue then it's worrying to me that they can't schedule your appointment for much sooner.

 

[Were all together]

You may want to have your Dr. Change your meds. Seems like what you have is good for now. But, you may need a bump up to 60mg. Of Propranolol. That should help with the stress of your new job. Let your Dr. Know you started a new job too. They can prescribed the right meds to help with that.

 

[Exist]

Sorry if this is a silly question, but did you tell mental health services that you're out of your PRN? That seems like a problem that needs to be remediated as quickly as possible and if they're aware of that issue then it's worrying to me that they can't schedule your appointment for much sooner.

Well actually im not out of them, it's just I didn't have any left on me. My mum only gives them to me in small amounts and I have to wait till I'm home to tell her I need more. Sorry I should have elaborated on that.

 

[Exist]

You may want to have your Dr. Change your meds. Seems like what you have is good for now. But, you may need a bump up to 60mg. Of Propranolol. That should help with the stress of your new job. Let your Dr. Know you started a new job too. They can prescribed the right meds to help with that.

Yeah I'm hoping to have my medications reviewed. I'm also on Quetiapine at 150mg which is supposed to control my emotional swings but It hasn't really been doing that. I also need to tell her how I'm having much more suicidal thoughts since I last saw her. I really need an appointment sooner but they just can't seem to understand that I need to see them sooner rather than later or something bad will probably happen

 

[Were all together]

Yeah I'm hoping to have my medications reviewed. I'm also on Quetiapine at 150mg which is supposed to control my emotional swings but It hasn't really been doing that. I also need to tell her how I'm having much more suicidal thoughts since I last saw her. I really need an appointment sooner but they just can't seem to understand that I need to see them sooner rather than later or something bad will probably happen

If you really need them before hand. Let them know it's an Emergency. Also, probably best to let them know, your mother controls your dosage. That will help them.

 

[Paisley]

Well actually im not out of them, it's just I didn't have any left on me. My mum only gives them to me in small amounts and I have to wait till I'm home to tell her I need more. Sorry I should have elaborated on that.

Oh okay, I get it now

 

[Walker]

Sorry that you're having such a shit time, man. Work shouldn't really feel that stressful so I get what you're on about here. I don't really have any advice more to give than what has already been said but wanted you to know that so many of us here "get it" and are feeling what you're laying down here. I hope tomorrow is better.

 

[Here2Listen]

Hi Exist,
I am sorry for your predicament. Life is really hard, but there are always ways to cope.
I hope you wouldn’t hate yourself. It is just about bottom line. If you dislike yourself who else would? No matter what is happening around you, blaming yourself will not help but could lead to more problems.

I don’t know anything about the meds but I have some suggestions about your work, which seems to be a major source of stress right now. They hired you because you have some skills. Focus on that, your skills, and what you can do. When you go to work, try to forget all the things they said. Ignore any remarks if you can, and just concentrate on what you are doing at the time. Take it one step at a time. Show them that you are capable and you just had some setbacks. I hope that things will turn around for you.