I've been really anxious lately. I don't know why or how to continue. It doesn't make sense or a difference at all if I'm alive. And I don't have hopes for better of dreams for my life. I stopped having them since I was a 12. I don't know how to go from here. All these things society wants us to do, like having a job and maintaining my health seems so pointless. Why suffer more if I'm already suffering? Why go through the stress if I don't want to see tomorrow? I'm getting older and older and nothing changes. It's still horrible, life is horrible. And the more time passes more nihilistic I turn out.
I regret not having finished it years ago. I regret staying alive so much. People promised things would be better, it was a lie. A lie I believed for decades thinking something would happen. That I could change. That someone would save me that I could save myself.
No I can't. I never could. There's no changing ones self. I will be forever useless as I am.
I really want to go. To be free. To finally , FINALLY, be free. From all of this.
I regret not having finished it years ago. I regret staying alive so much. People promised things would be better, it was a lie. A lie I believed for decades thinking something would happen. That I could change. That someone would save me that I could save myself.
No I can't. I never could. There's no changing ones self. I will be forever useless as I am.
I really want to go. To be free. To finally , FINALLY, be free. From all of this.
