I can't take being so depressed.

[UrbanRose]

I keep trying to climb up for depression. I manage to get better for a few days, but I keep tumbling back into the hole.

To keep falling back into it like this is destroying my hope that I can manage this problem. I've managed recurrent depressive episodes for many years. Now it is becoming unmanageable for me. I'm afraid I'll die, if this goes on and on. I dread what is ahead of me. I dread suicide. I dread being plagued by this mental state that keeps coming back.

 

[Windhover]

I'm sorry this is happening.
I know how it is for me, when I cannot stay above it.
What is going on right now, along with the depression?
Is there anyone irl you can speak to, get some support at all? If not, please reach out for a counselor or call a support line.

- s

 

[UrbanRose]

I'm sorry this is happening.
I know how it is for me, when I cannot stay above it.
What is going on right now, along with the depression?
Is there anyone irl you can speak to, get some support at all? If not, please reach out for a counselor or call a support line.

- s

I'm spending too much time alone. I don't have anyone IRL who I can confide in. I called a sister last evening. I didn't tell her how bad I was doing. I did call a crisis line yesterday. That person told me to find counseling in the community.

It's hard for me to step outside my apartment.

 

[Windhover]

It's terrible when it gets like that. I'm sorry, @UrbanRose . Do you feel comfortable if you're in a safe, quiet natural place, like a park or ? I can't give advice, I've been stuck in inside my place in the past.
When you're here, you're not alone.

 

[Lekatt]

I keep trying to climb up for depression. I manage to get better for a few days, but I keep tumbling back into the hole.

To keep falling back into it like this is destroying my hope that I can manage this problem. I've managed recurrent depressive episodes for many years. Now it is becoming unmanageable for me. I'm afraid I'll die, if this goes on and on. I dread what is ahead of me. I dread suicide. I dread being plagued by this mental state that keeps coming back.

I can tell you how I got over depression, and other negative thoughts. It only requires a minimal of work, but it must be done on a long time regular basis.

Changing Thoughts

I have seen this method work many times with other people, just requires commitment.

 

[Colinpasch]

i know it hard but don’t kill yourself. My brother killed himself in 2014 and it ruined my life and made my mom sad]

 

[Livelife]

It's such an unbearable place to be. I'm in a similar state of dread and feel like I'm a step away from losing sanity. I'm so sorry you are having such a rough time and wish you could share what's happening with your sister. Or someone in the counseling community.

 

[UrbanRose]

It's such an unbearable place to be. I'm in a similar state of dread and feel like I'm a step away from losing sanity. I'm so sorry you are having such a rough time and wish you could share what's happening with your sister. Or someone in the counseling community.

I'm sorry you're in a "state of dread" yourself. That's a pretty good way to phrase it. I can put up with a lot when I think that a bad circumstance is temporary. "Dread" is when you believe that a bad situation is not going to improve. Loss of hope . . . that things can be made better . .
is a bad place to be. My sister and I were at odds on how to loom at something. We weren't mad at each other. My sister's daughter got furious with me. She thought I was picking on her mother. So I didn't go spend a week with them, as I had planned.

 

[Livelife]

I'm sorry you're in a "state of dread" yourself. That's a pretty good way to phrase it. I can put up with a lot when I think that a bad circumstance is temporary. "Dread" is when you believe that a bad situation is not going to improve. Loss of hope . . . that things can be made better . .
is a bad place to be. My sister and I were at odds on how to loom at something. We weren't mad at each other. My sister's daughter got furious with me. She thought I was picking on her mother. So I didn't go spend a week with them, as I had planned.

That definition works well for me.
And I'm glad to hear you and your sister are not upset with each other and I hope her daughter gets over her angry response, not sure if what she's upset about is that she has a difference of opinion from yours as well or if it was that you just didn't agree with her mother. Either way, It's really unfortunate it altered your spending that time with them.

 

[UrbanRose]

I'm sorry this is happening.
I know how it is for me, when I cannot stay above it.
What is going on right now, along with the depression?
Is there anyone irl you can speak to, get some support at all? If not, please reach out for a counselor or call a support line.

- s

There isn't anyone I confide in. I have two sisters on the other side of the continent. I don't talk to them about my depression. I learned many years ago that "needy" people become very unpopular. People are quick to judge . . . to say "You're not trying hard enough to help yourself." They're probably right.

 

[Windhover]

I suppose from a limited and narrow perspective, some people think depressed people can be judged and found wanting. Probably a snap decision on their part. However, they are revealimg a lack of knowledge and a lack of compassion when they or if they say things like that.
I do not think they're right.
I hope that finding and being here on SF can ameliorate the isolation you feel.

hugs

There isn't anyone I confide in. I have two sisters on the other side of the continent. I don't talk to them about my depression. I learned many years ago that "needy" people become very unpopular. People are quick to judge . . . to say "You're not trying hard enough to help yourself." They're probably right.