I cried yesterday

[kikin]

Around four days ago I deleted my Instagram, TikTok, Set my discord to delete etc, without telling any of my online friends. I wanted to disspear from the internet. I've wanted to cut everyone off for a while, not because I hate them, or they're mean to me, It's just my self destructive behaviour I guess.
For three days I just sat sad, no contact to them, but then I reactivated my Discord just to see if there was anything. I opened our GC and I got so overwhelmed, they were scared for me, what happened etc. One even dm'ed my spotify to ask if I was okay
I talked to one of them cause she had dm'ed me asking what was wrong the day prior, and I just started crying harder. I hated that they cared so much, and I felt so bad that I made them scared, worried or whatever else.
I've set my account to delete again, but I don't know if I truly want to. I hate myself so bad, I hate how I am. What is wrong with me? I kind of wish I didn't reactivate my account that day and had waited a few more days, because I'm a loser. I just wanted to go, and not have them worry about me and just stop caring for me

 

[Congratsbaby]

Around four days ago I deleted my Instagram, TikTok, Set my discord to delete etc, without telling any of my online friends. I wanted to disspear from the internet. I've wanted to cut everyone off for a while, not because I hate them, or they're mean to me, It's just my self destructive behaviour I guess.
For three days I just sat sad, no contact to them, but then I reactivated my Discord just to see if there was anything. I opened our GC and I got so overwhelmed, they were scared for me, what happened etc. One even dm'ed my spotify to ask if I was okay
I talked to one of them cause she had dm'ed me asking what was wrong the day prior, and I just started crying harder. I hated that they cared so much, and I felt so bad that I made them scared, worried or whatever else.
I've set my account to delete again, but I don't know if I truly want to. I hate myself so bad, I hate how I am. What is wrong with me? I kind of wish I didn't reactivate my account that day and had waited a few more days, because I'm a loser. I just wanted to go, and not have them worry about me and just stop caring for me

Hugs if okay. I think it makes sense why you did it , but deep down wouldn't you want someone to care? To get you out of the pit?

I am sorry it is so bad for you. I hope you find some relief..

 

[Lane]

Hi @kikin. You are definately not a lover. I think its ok to give yourself a break from Instagram for a few days. Glad that you have friends that care about you as well.