I've been starving myself for a while til i was made to stop by my bf. He finally agreed to let me go back to weighing 120 for 5'6 because i'm disgusted in myself. Apparently i had a disorder cause i would get sick if i ate more than a little food and i was 20 pounds underweight. Everytime i look at a scale now though i end up getting so upset that i'm not even hungry the rest of the day. How do you learn to be ok with yourself if yourself is ugly and fat?