I've recently been diagnosed with functional neurological disorder (FND) and have been referred for therapy, neuro-physio and another form of counselling. Neither of the therapy referrals have come through and it's 9 months later, I don't know how to feel right now. I've started getting absent seizures as part of the FND as well.
I'm also coming to terms with the fact I most likely have C-PTSD and don't want to be a burden on anyone by telling them how I feel. I don't know what to do or who to turn to.
I work in a really stressful job and this hasn't helped, even with great support, and I feel lost.
Realising I'm living in quite a toxic environment doesn't help, especially when I'm told "you have a boyfriend now so you shouldn't feel depressed anymore" like that cures everything. I'm also stuck here as i can't afford to move out yet.
I just feel like anything I do is wrong and that people are better off without me. I don't feel like I can open up to my friends as 2 of them have their own shit that they're going through and it's not fair to add mine to that, and the other is not good at dealing with MH situations. I don't want to talk to my bf as I don't know where to start and part of me feels he'd be better with someone with their life together. He knows some of what is going on, but not all of it, no one knows the thoughts I have, and I think he'd be upset if he knew this.
But also, he's looking at moving out of his parents place and buying a house with his sister and someone else and I don't know what that means for us, is he serious about us etc, and because of my past traumas and trauma behaviour responses because of that and how that's affected me, I don't know how to ask him because I don't want him to get upset or mad with me.
....help....
I'm also coming to terms with the fact I most likely have C-PTSD and don't want to be a burden on anyone by telling them how I feel. I don't know what to do or who to turn to.
I work in a really stressful job and this hasn't helped, even with great support, and I feel lost.
Realising I'm living in quite a toxic environment doesn't help, especially when I'm told "you have a boyfriend now so you shouldn't feel depressed anymore" like that cures everything. I'm also stuck here as i can't afford to move out yet.
I just feel like anything I do is wrong and that people are better off without me. I don't feel like I can open up to my friends as 2 of them have their own shit that they're going through and it's not fair to add mine to that, and the other is not good at dealing with MH situations. I don't want to talk to my bf as I don't know where to start and part of me feels he'd be better with someone with their life together. He knows some of what is going on, but not all of it, no one knows the thoughts I have, and I think he'd be upset if he knew this.
But also, he's looking at moving out of his parents place and buying a house with his sister and someone else and I don't know what that means for us, is he serious about us etc, and because of my past traumas and trauma behaviour responses because of that and how that's affected me, I don't know how to ask him because I don't want him to get upset or mad with me.
....help....
