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I don't have any clue anymore

Discussion in 'Mental Health Disorders' started by LostInMyMind, Feb 27, 2016.

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  1. LostInMyMind

    LostInMyMind New Member

    I haven't been diagnosed with anything, but I've never even gotten checked. My parents don't believe in mental disorders, they just think it's all a part of puberty and growing up. I do go to the therapist though, and he's surprised that I'm not on meds or something like that.
    I have so many things going on in my mind, it's utter chaos.
    I have voices in my head, a lot of them, along with people/beings that only I can see. Both of these are a mix of good and bad voices. There is one being in particular that tells me that "I need something, and you have it inside you. Thing is, I can only get it when you die, so I need you to die." and other things like that.
    I also have very, VERY intense dreams/nightmares that I'm not going to really try to explain in detail right now, otherwise I'm going to start going on a huge rant...but there is one thing. Every single time I wake up, regardless of whether the sleep was a normal sleep or even just a light nap, I always wake up unable to move or breathe. When I wake up, I always see shadowy figures next to my bed, including the being that wants me to die. They make this weird sound that completely drains away any remaining air I have in my lungs. They only go away either when some sort of light (lamp, sun, hallway light under the door, ect) shines on them or when I pass out from lack of air. This has been going on for a long time, and it's been getting worse.
    I'm also pretty sure I have PTSD from past events from when I was a kid, but I'm not completely sure.
    These are only a part of what's going on right now, but these are also the main problems. The other problems branch off from these.
  2. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    This is called sleep paralysis, I have suffered from it too but only on the odd occasion, it is very scary and my doctor told me it's from being distressed and hallucinations often accompany it. Please google ''sleep paralysis'' and you've got your answer if it is it. I'm very surprised your therapist didn't know what was causing that or what it was but to be fair it is quite rare, keep seeing your therapist and I am sorry to hear you think you have PTSD, I am not a health professional and can only offer peer to peer support but if you ever want to talk to me just send me a private message. I hope you are able to recover soon, you are too young to have all of this on your shoulders. *big hugs* SF is here for you. We do care :)
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