i don't know whats wrong with me...

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The Scream

Well-Known Member
#1
every 3-4 months... i get scared of people... i avoid them everywhere i can... i once even passed out cause i panicked so much...

i don't dare to look around... look anyone in the eye...

and all the sounds are muted.... sometimes i see their lips moving, talking to me, but i just don't hear it...

and i don't know if i whisper or yell when i talk... i can't even hear myself that well...

and the weird part is, that it happens every 3-4 months and lasts for a week... -__-"

wtf is this?

it's weird, and people definitely notice...

cause usually im not like this... i never shut up... tho, when this happens, i avoid everyone..... ><
 

Sadeyes

Staff Alumni
#2
I have had what sounds like this for years...I was so paranoid that ppl would reject me and see who I was, or who I thought I was, that in my social life, I crossed the street to avoid seeing ppl...maybe this is something you would want to work on to see what this means for you? big hugs, J
 

The Scream

Well-Known Member
#6
Good to hear..please let me know how it goes...big hugs
i had a chat with the school counselor today... i was able to talk with him pretty well... he told me of a dutch 24/7 suicide hotline i didn't knew existed and he called my gp for an appointment cause i was too nervous to do it myself since i hadn't went to the last therapy they had set up for me >< but he explained it for me and now i have an appointment set for 10 o'clock tomorrow...

and my grades are going down at school, that sucks, i have to do the year over most likely :(
 

The Scream

Well-Known Member
#8
ugh... i feel like a crazy person -__-"

i just came back from the gp... and when i was telling him my story... he kept looking at me like i was a lunatic... or well, so it felt like ><
 

sunshinesblack

Well-Known Member
#9
late answer was just looking around the forum
crazy is relative
Sounds like pstd to me but am no expert
I used to have mood swings once a week than i realized they started on wensdays than found all in all it was the worst day of the week with the worst bullying cause i had to stay 6-8 hours doing nothing in a unsupervised workshop, but moods continued even in hollydays or regardless of what happened that day for quite a while. They where not as bad as yours but i mysteriously could not wake up in the morning and always something happed that stopped me from going. Now looking back it looks ridiculous and i should have realized but abuse does that. Same id get crazy socially anxious at school start in autumn. I only later realized thet while normal people where coming from holladay i was coming out of social isolation since my mom never had money on hollydays and was sending me to live with my grandparents and waste my life, i didnt even have proper summer clotes most my life since it was warm and did not need much. I was used to it and felt crazy in autumn having to adapt back to umanity. But now making sense of it

Oh wanted to ad that i also get the docs looking at me like im lunatic, they just dont get ....seriously. Took me so much time to unravel my life and answer the whys and the whats but most doc dotn know how to deal with theyr patients they expect to see an book not a person, it takes them enormous amounts of time to figure u out a lot of times.
 
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