I don't understand it.

Discussion in 'Mental Health Disorders' started by Wormling, Oct 29, 2007.

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  1. Wormling

    Wormling Well-Known Member

    I have been away from SF for months. I was part of a bowling league, and had never bowled seriously before in my life, and my bowling team won first place. I won first place in the handicapped (non pro) individual division as well. My trimester of college just ended Wednesday, and today I got my grades, I got multiple 100 percents and the lowest grade I got on a final project or final exam was a 96%. My new classes start on Monday and I was excited to be in them, because they sounded interesting. I have been happy and entertained for months, but this week, I'm just crashed. That is the only way I can explain it. For months, I was happy, running a normal life, I had friends, I played games and had fun, I had interest in doing activities with others and by myself, life was grand. And since about Monday, it's all nothing. I don't care. I have 0 interest in my friends, my family, my hobbies, my school, my work. Nothing amuses me. Nothing entertains me. I don't feel passionate about anything. I do what I must to get by, but my free time is wishing myself back into the oblivion of sleep. I don't get it. I was so happy and now I have thoughts about killing myself to end the monotonous nature that is life. Nothing happened to make me sad or depressed or angry or anything. There was no bad news I received, no traumatic incident, everything has been going well for me. So, why did I just wake up this week feeling like nothing matters, and it seems like nothing I do means anything? What happened to make me change so much? I just don't understand. :blink:
     
  2. Hae-Gi

    Hae-Gi Banned Member

    I understand. I just can't put it into words.

    Do you feel ashamed for having been happy, as well? I use to.
     
  3. Wormling

    Wormling Well-Known Member

    "Do you feel ashamed for having been happy, as well? I use to."

    No, but I do for feeling the way I am now. I should have an excuse or some reason for feeling this way, for having my mood and thoughts change but I have none. For this, I feel guilty.
     
  4. Terry

    Terry Antiquities Friend Staff Alumni

    Could be the onsets of SADS, lots of people get like that in the winter because of the lack of sun.
    Here in Britain they are now taking it seriously enough to question wether or not they should do away with daylight savings:blink:
     
  5. Hae-Gi

    Hae-Gi Banned Member

    I guess what I sometimes get isn't the same thing, then... I use to feel ashamed for having lost touch with the "truth," and as such feeling stupid.

    As for daylight... I always feel better in the darker months... thank god for winter; no bugs, less dirt, clean air and no bright light! How can it not make you happier?
     
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