I don't understand.

Discussion in 'Mental Health Disorders' started by AAA3330, May 25, 2015.

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  1. AAA3330

    AAA3330 Well-Known Member

    I don't understand why I'm not the same. Something about my brain is different and I don't understand why. I don't feel like the same person. It feels like my brain is damaged, but the doctor at the hospital told me that it wasn't and I also had a CT scan done and it didn't show anything. Yet I feel totally different. It feels like my mind isn't there anymore but I have a hard time seeing that anything is missing. It's just such a mysterious thing. I feel confused all of the time and severely depressed. Many of the things that I used to think about, I don't think about anymore. I used to really enjoy my music, but I never feel like listening to it anymore. Could depression cause confusion and for me to feel like my brain is damaged? I don't know that it will help, but I got my doctor to put me on an antidepressant(Mirtazapine). I figure that it won't hurt anything. This all started after I got stressed out. Nothing traumatic happened so I wouldn't think that my brain would be damaged, yet I'm not as sharp as I used to be and view reality in a totally different way. I'm really scared of the way that my brain is. The doctors just don't seem to know what to do. It's a terrible feeling to feel like your mind is gone. I was always so sharp before. I was watching some videos of people with brain injury and it seems like they have different types of problems. My biggest problem is my confusion and the way that I see reality. It's so mysterious and strange. I just don't understand why my mind feels so much different yet so many things are working perfectly.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: May 25, 2015
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Mind is so complicated so many things can affect the way it works even change in diet can affect the brain I hope the medication helps
     
  3. damselfly

    damselfly Member

    I was thinking hypochondria, where one worries about her health but in fact nothing is wrong with her physique so it's just a feeling of worry with no medical condition.
     
  4. AAA3330

    AAA3330 Well-Known Member

    Thanks for the responses. I used to always have this feeling of grandiousity and was super successful. I thought that I was better and different than other people. Now I have a hard time distinguishing the difference between myself and others. It's very confusing for me. All that I see now is similaritys between myself and others. It feels like I'm a totally different person and like the whole world has changed. I used to be a very confident person, but now I just sit alone in my house and feel terrified and tormented because of the way that I feel. I think that I had schizophrenia all of my life, but I was super intelligent because of it, but the way that things are now is totally different. I just always feel terrible. I never get a break from it. I don't ever relax or sleep well. I have terrible nightmares. It's like I'm living in hell and my own mind has become my worst enemy. I never could have imagined something so terrible if it hadn't happened to me. I am constantly tormented by my mind. I've been this way for 2 and a half years and they've tried several meds. I know that I'll likely be this way for the rest of my life and it's so terrible because I'm constantly aware that I'm going to feel mentally tormented this way for the rest of my life and it's just terrible. I'm constantly aware of how bad it is, but there's nothing that I or the doctors can do. It's like I'm living in this hell that I'll never escape from.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: May 25, 2015
  5. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    You cannot predict the future what may come to help you Always new treatments new therapies to be tried
    I cannot diagnose you nor can anyone here but i do hope that you continue to keep pushing your doctor or specialist to help you find some understanding of what is happening to you
     
  6. AAA3330

    AAA3330 Well-Known Member

    Thank you total eclipse. I really appreciate your responses. I'm still going to continue to see my regular psychiatrist. She thinks that it's because of my Schizophrenia, but I'm not sure. I've searched and searched the internet to try and find an answer, but there just doesn't seem to be one. There just doesn't seem to be anyone else who is dealing with what I deal with. I don't know if it will help but I'm going to keep taking my antidepressant. I've been on several before, but not for any long length of time.
     
  7. WolfLady

    WolfLady New Member

    Could it be a new med that is causing disassociative feelings? This happened to me once so just a thought?
     
  8. AAA3330

    AAA3330 Well-Known Member

    Thank you WolfLady for the reply. The only new med that I'm on is Fetzima for depression but I'm sure that it's not causing my problems. I think that my brain is damaged and that there is nothing that can be done.
     
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