I don't want to be alive anymore

[AmeliaS.]

I almost did it this morning. I gathered up every pill I could find and lined the bottles up. But my sister got home and I had to hide them. I just want to be alone and die quietly and painlessly. I'm done; I don't want to do this anymore. And now I'm scared that the pills won't work, and they probably won't. I emailed my psychiatrist and he hasn't replied back to me yet. I'm alone, and tired and so done and fed up with everything.

 

[Jabez]

Hi AmeliaS;

It's hard for me to say it, because I feel the same way as you and don't want to take my own suggestions...
But please hang in there. Be gentle with yourself. Keep reaching out to your support people - your psychiatrist, your sister, on here, as ChestnutMay says maybe hospital - anywhere you can find a little bit more support and strength to get through this time. It will get better again, one day. It is so very hard and tiring, I know, but please keep on trying.

Hugs to you...

 

[ChestnutMay]

Maybe it is time for a trip to the ER and a few days in the hospital. At the very least, follow up that email with a phone call stressing the urgency of your situation. Because it is urgent. You need help. Now. You are in too much pain to manage on your own.

You are probably right that the pills will not do the trick. It is far more likely you will get extremely sick and end up going to the ER anyway. You do not want to be that sick and go through having your stomach pumped. It is an utterly miserable experience and only makes you feel a thousand times worse.

This disease is really awful. I'm sorry you're in so much pain.

 

[little lucy]

I think the pills are a bad idea. Do you need to go to a hospital? Plus, if the pills don't work they could really fuck you up and then people would force you to live in the hospital.

 

[Petal]

I almost did it this morning. I gathered up every pill I could find and lined the bottles up. But my sister got home and I had to hide them. I just want to be alone and die quietly and painlessly. I'm done; I don't want to do this anymore. And now I'm scared that the pills won't work, and they probably won't. I emailed my psychiatrist and he hasn't replied back to me yet. I'm alone, and tired and so done and fed up with everything.

Hi Amelia, I am really glad that you did not do it. Maybe there was a reason she came back at that given time. Please,please do not overdose. I did and have had stomach problems since I overdose, get help now while you can before you damage yourself permanently or even worse. I feel for you. Please get help, call your doctor and be honest so they can help and keep talking to us here on the forum.