I feel dazed

[Mimino]

I feel so grossed out and dizzy right now. I feel nauseous. I'm addicted and everytime I use it as a crutch I feel like I'm greiving afterward, like I'm dying because of it. Alcohol, caffine, etc. I don't why staying awake for 48 hours sounded good to me but here I am. Besides that, I really seem to want guys, I like their form, how they move. I like them as much or even more than women. But I can't for the life of me like them enought. I get disgusted by certain parts of their bodies, its too much. I get so very uncomfortable when anyone tpuches my body. I feel aweful, I think I'm touched starved but God forbid someone lays a finger on me, huh? I'm also really good at finding things a part of me to despise, now I can tolerate my form, my skin is terrible. I'm 20 years old and I still have acne, that's to say nothing of the scars there forever. Scars are fine, they're a sign that an living being can withstand life and remain. But there's also bruises on me that have been there for years, i really can't figure out how to get rid of them. Sorry if this post is a jumbled up mess of things. I wish at least someone could touch me. Its not like I'm a hermit, I'm nothing but sociable and outgoing. I can't seem to find any beauty in me. That's fine I suppose, but at least remove the pain I feel from boils, sores, cuts, and my heart. My breastbone constrains my heart so much, always uncomfortable. I really hate having to explain the same defect on me.

 

[Congratsbaby]

I feel so grossed out and dizzy right now. I feel nauseous. I'm addicted and everytime I use it as a crutch I feel like I'm greiving afterward, like I'm dying because of it. Alcohol, caffine, etc. I don't why staying awake for 48 hours sounded good to me but here I am. Besides that, I really seem to want guys, I like their form, how they move. I like them as much or even more than women. But I can't for the life of me like them enought. I get disgusted by certain parts of their bodies, its too much. I get so very uncomfortable when anyone tpuches my body. I feel aweful, I think I'm touched starved but God forbid someone lays a finger on me, huh? I'm also really good at finding things a part of me to despise, now I can tolerate my form, my skin is terrible. I'm 20 years old and I still have acne, that's to say nothing of the scars there forever. Scars are fine, they're a sign that an living being can withstand life and remain. But there's also bruises on me that have been there for years, i really can't figure out how to get rid of them. Sorry if this post is a jumbled up mess of things. I wish at least someone could touch me. Its not like I'm a hermit, I'm nothing but sociable and outgoing. I can't seem to find any beauty in me. That's fine I suppose, but at least remove the pain I feel from boils, sores, cuts, and my heart. My breastbone constrains my heart so much, always uncomfortable. I really hate having to explain the same defect on me.

I am just so sorry for all the pain you're going through. I wish it gets better for you.

 

[BlackSheep 007]

Hi @Mimino , hmm, you are not alone. Let me translate this for you - so you can laugh and already see how it will change in 40 years, ok?

- Staying awake for 48 hours becomes normal, as falling asleep is getting really difficult.
- I like women - but they do not like me any longer, I am simply too old. Shit.
- Seems God is the only one who touches me (from time to time...)
- Scars are fine (there are a lot now), so are pigments on my skin they came with age....
- I am still social and outgoing, but with whom? Nobody!!

I hope I made you laugh! Enjoy being young. You have so much in front of you. Do not dispair, ok? Just a tip!!