It is worse than feeling sad. I don't know if people understand.
Everybody has a life. Bad or good they have one.
I feel like a speck of dirt besides everyone. I don't know how to deal with this.
How can I have anyone's sympathy when they don't understand and I can't talk?
It is not about things these people had and I hadn't. Is about my past, my emptiness, and the feel that my life is an abomination.
Please forgive me: but my mind; & my memory, are both going on me--& which one is worse, or going (more) first? ...is really hard to say!
So have you been on meds before? (psych ones)
Anyone, in any position in life, no matter how successful, can find someone even more successful than they are/or them - & by doing that comparison thing. . . Or by comparing themselves to others, they are playing only a losing game. In other words, you can be, by all accounts (society's expectations, that of your peers - work colleagues, friends, whomever) "highly successful." And yet--if you spend all of your time (or enough of it) fixating, or focusing in too much on those whom you perceive to have it 'ten times better than you do,' you will always come away feeling like dirt, or trash, in the end (by comparison).
Are you speaking of literal in ability to speak & communicate? As in technical speech problems with communication? Or is it more metaphorical, or you just have great difficulty in getting across to others your point with great clarity. So that they can understand what you mean, or where you are coming from? So maybe you freeze up, and don't say what you want to, or you do, but you do a poor job (in your mind) of executing what is in your head... & can't seem to interpret it accurately, or translate & transfer the message from thoughts in your head, to words that you are speaking (out loud) to them.
Here again, with any of these, and those that require it, professional help may be of great aid or benefit to you If you are open & willing. And I'm sorry if I am forgetting now & off the top of, just as to the nature of your track record & history with (all of) this mental health stuff. In terms of what you've tried, and what you haven't. . .
