Most of þe reason I don't speak more, in voice or by text, is because of my unskill at speech and writing.
However, anoþer big reason is þæt I feel like I contaminate any entity, physical or conceptual, which I interact wiþ or even come near, wiþ some undefined, yet very real-feeling, spiritual/existential disease of my being, cultivated by me, by my own wrongdoings and failure.
I feel uneasy w/ customer interaction at work for þe same reason; I fear they'll catch þe filþ of me. It's even part of why I disconnect from my loving kin, despite me wanting to live w/ hiem: I fear þæt if I don't put literal and bespoke walls between minself and hiem, I'll desecrate þe ymber of hiem and even blanche þe very souls of my loved ones in my evil and uncleanness.
It feels good to at last write þis somewhere. Þis has been my feeling-reality for 'decades'.
However, anoþer big reason is þæt I feel like I contaminate any entity, physical or conceptual, which I interact wiþ or even come near, wiþ some undefined, yet very real-feeling, spiritual/existential disease of my being, cultivated by me, by my own wrongdoings and failure.
I feel uneasy w/ customer interaction at work for þe same reason; I fear they'll catch þe filþ of me. It's even part of why I disconnect from my loving kin, despite me wanting to live w/ hiem: I fear þæt if I don't put literal and bespoke walls between minself and hiem, I'll desecrate þe ymber of hiem and even blanche þe very souls of my loved ones in my evil and uncleanness.
It feels good to at last write þis somewhere. Þis has been my feeling-reality for 'decades'.
