I feel so...

Discussion in 'Family, Friends and Relationships' started by flayflow, Jun 22, 2009.

  1. flayflow

    flayflow Well-Known Member

    I feel my bfs mum hates me...

    me and the bf have recently told his parents that im pregnant.

    his dad, bro and sis are fine with me but his mum didnt say a word to me the whole time i stayed at their house for the weekend.

    my mum said she might feel like iv trapped her son cuz this isnt what she wanted for him but at the end of the day... this isnt what i would have chosen either but its happened and we're going to be a family.

    i just dunno what to do

    i dont want her to hate me
  2. cult logic

    cult logic Staff Alumni

    There's really not much you can do.

    17 is a very very young age to be a parent(I assume he's your age) so his mother is really quite understandably upset.

    You'll really just have to wait it out and see if she comes around.
  3. flayflow

    flayflow Well-Known Member

    hes 21 soon... i dnt want her to be upset though. it kills me to know iv upset her so badly
  4. LenaLunacy

    LenaLunacy Well-Known Member

    Try bonding with her? Spend some time with her doing thigns she'll enjoy and chatting.
  5. Remedy

    Remedy Chat & Forum Buddy

    Try and get her involved in your pregnancy? Ask her for advice and stuff. Good opportunity to bond.
    Congrats on the baby! I'm sure you'll make a great mum. :hug:
  6. Hache

    Hache Well-Known Member

    dont let it get you down, women arnt suppose to get on/like their mother in law

    look at it this way, silent treatment is better than her being outright nasty. In time things will improve, I imagine when you have the baby she will want to be more a part of it
  7. flayflow

    flayflow Well-Known Member

    we dont have much in common. she like to watch sport and stuff like cricket and football and i aint got a clue!

    I think your right Hache. She'll want to be more involved later on...hopefully. Its just annoying, the fact that they have said they can't help us out money wise but they can go away on holiday! seems unfair
  8. christian_1990

    christian_1990 Well-Known Member

    i dont wanna sound like an asshole or offend you...i hope the guy really loves you and everything turns out well.....but i would never let my sister or my daugther date a guy who is 4 years older than her......4 years when you are a teenager is a lot......plus with condom+pills theres no way u can get pregnant......play with fire get burnt good luck
  9. wibble

    wibble Well-Known Member

    Right, I hate to sound like an arsehole, but do you not think his mum is maybe over reacting just a touch?

    I mean, its natural for her to think this way, she's his mum and she probably thinks you're taking him away from her.

    But he's also 21, hes big enough to stand on his own two and make his own choices.

    Now, while what his mum thinks is important, you're not going to be able to change her at all. Watch Jeremy Kyle and he'll tell you the same thing. What you can change is your reaction to her thoughts though. Yes, she might be upset, but at the moment, you have a choice. You can let it upset you or you can think to yourself "yep, fine, be upset, but you're not going to stop me from loving your son and loving this baby, we're going to be a family so get used to it"

    You'll be fine, |I promise you she'll come around, its only natural it'll take a bit of time. When she holds that baby, everything will be forgotten.
  10. ThoseEmptyWalls

    ThoseEmptyWalls Well-Known Member

    I agree that you should involve her in the pregancy. Ask her for advice, ask her to go shopping with you when you buy baby stuff, ask her along for your ultrasounds. My mom didnt like the fact I was pregnant with my now 4 year old son. I was 18, out on my own, and had been with my now husband since I was 16. Hes older then I am (19 years older to be honest) and she was worried he would leave and Id be alone with a new born. She was able to share the pregnancy joys by going shopping with me, going to ultrasounds, and having me ask her my questions about parenting. So try and involve your boyfriends mom in whats going on. As far the vacation goes..Dont be angry with her. Its understandable she would ruther go on vacation then help with baby stuff, at least at this stage. Im sure she will come around though. If she doesnt she will when the little ones born. A newborn baby melts the coldest hearts!