i feel ugly and I have no life

Discussion in 'Mental Health Disorders' started by morning rush, May 19, 2014.

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  1. morning rush

    morning rush Well-Known Member

    recently an old friend of mine, whom I had stopped being friends with for about 3 years, recontacted me. She's not doing too well, so naturally I want to help, but my mom doesn't want me to get involved because she doesn't like her. She judges her a lot.

    But when I look at her profile on facebook and all those pics of her and her family, I get so depressed. I'm ugly, I think I look like a guy, my mom and sister don't agree, but looking at those pics made me feel so sad, I have no life, I'm not attractive like her or my sister...

    I'm just tired and sad and I don't even know why I'm still alive...what's the point if you're never happy? if everything is boring? and you have no one in your life? no boyfriend, no children, no friends...

    and it's not like I can talk to my mom or sister, they get angry at me for feeling that way, like I'm not allowed to be depressed...
     
  2. NickA8326

    NickA8326 Active Member

    My family and old friends didn't want me to be depressed either, like it was illegal, so I know how you feel about that, I now avoid people that avoid me unless they start to ask me what's wrong and I tell them why I'm avoiding them, and that started to fix the problem of people telling me that I can't be depressed, but then they expected me to stop acting loud and dramatic about it, so I just started to be more calmer about it, and having them around me to help started to reverse the stress of it all. Now days I only have 1 friend though, but he is supportive.

    The reason I am telling you about friends is because there are so many people in this world, that you can find one to be your friend if you try. I think that you should realize that if you think poorly about your self image, that you need to turn on a metaphorical switch inside that allows you to be open to what other people think about your self image in order to gather other opinions other than family sugar coat lying about things, like they will always be at risk of doing that because that's how family is cause they never want to hurt you on purpose. However, you don't need to get other's people's opinions about your image, I personally just think that it would be hypocritical to be wanting to look different if you aren't open to people giving you their opinions, cause people enjoy looking at beauty so I would be considerate to other people pointing out some big flaw in my appearance that I had. I used to wear shirts to large for my pants, and someone pointed it out to someone I saw wearing one the other day, and I wished someone told me that before I figured it out. I don't know, I just want to be connected to the world rather than myself, so I care about what many good people think.

    If you have problems with diet, then those should be resolved first. I know a lot about this, but I will not post much about it because my diet opinions are really extreme about what to do in order to lose weight and be healthy. Lets just say that I'm an organic vegan, and I take fasts at least every couple months in order to get a little bit of pudge out of my gut, and I only drink non-chlorine water. You should be exercising every other day for around at least an hour, and you should at least fast walk or jog during the time, and avoid taking breaks during this period. I went from 160 pounds of pure fat, to 125 when I was a junk food eater after getting healthy and quitting all that, I'm skinny now though, I was even starting to get man boobs, that's when I knew it was time for me to exercise. I started to eat healthy at that time too, but I quickly learned that I also cared about the healthy food like salads and fruits like bananas making me think better, so that was the main reason for the food now, and the exercise helped my thoughts too. So it's a win/win situation to eat good and exercise. Why drink anything besides water, if we are made up of a ton of it ourselves? Why not just always refuel with that fuel, and eat the fruit solid rather than skip water and drink it as juice, it's more efficient that way. I'd really suggest that you take care of yourself in some health sort of way, you need to change if you want to feel good. When you feel good about yourself, you should go to some online dating site to meet friends or a date or something if you can't find people in real life to hang out with, you could always go to the beach to feel good about the world and connect with other good people around you appreciating the beauty of nature, maybe even meet a friend.

    Edit: Once you feel that your looks match your identity to a way that you like, you should update your social media pictures and then make positive comments on pages that you personally like, and maybe other people will comment positively back, or you can just start adding people after you post, so you can make friends on there too if you want.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: May 19, 2014
  3. morning rush

    morning rush Well-Known Member

    hum I never talked about dieting and exercising, that has nothing to do with how I am feeling at the moment.

    also, I don't think that following others' opinion is a good thing. So what you wore big shirts, if you were comfy in them and you liked them, that's the important thing. There are always people who will disagree with what you are wearing, even now.

    I don't live for other people. I want to live for me. And I don't think you understood what I said in my post because your response had nothing to do with what I said...thanks anyways :(
     
  4. scaryforest

    scaryforest Banned Member

    you go help that person if you feel that is right.

    loneliness is painful, agreed. maybe the fam. members get angry because they have not been able to help you better?
    where did you usually meet and make friends when you had them?
     
  5. morning rush

    morning rush Well-Known Member

    yeah I think that they want me to be happy and they don't know how to help...I think that sometimes I just want to be listened to...

    hum I met friends in school...I do have acquaintances in my building...I do try to go out and meet people...but the older I get the harder it seems to make friends...but I'm not going to give up...I was just depressed for a moment...left to stew in all my dark thoughts...I try to counter my thoughts but some days, I just throw in the towel...I'm not perfect...
     
  6. NickA8326

    NickA8326 Active Member

    You don't have to like what someone says or thinks, but I obviously did respond on topic to your question. Maybe You should re-read the thread title and realize that my response was based around improving self image due to the fact that your thread title is labeled "i feel ugly and I have no life".
     
  7. morning rush

    morning rush Well-Known Member

    nowhere did it say I was fat and not doing exercising or eating healthy...I never said you didn't mean well, just that I felt that it didn't match the way I was feeling or what i was saying. I'm entitled to say my feelings about your post. This is not a shut up and just say thank you type of forum where you just accept whatever people say...

    maybe my answer upset you, I'm sorry if it did, but I still think that you didn't get the point of my message...
     
  8. Auerbach

    Auerbach Well-Known Member

    I feel the same way you do, no friends, no significant other, no life; I hope things get better for you.
     
  9. morning rush

    morning rush Well-Known Member

    I'm sorry you feel that way too. Some days are better than others, some days I do think I'm pretty and like myself while other days I loathe myself. I don't see how I can find love when I don't like myself on most days...
     
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