I've been suffering from depression and daily suicidal thoughts for the last 12+ years since my late teens, and have always been terrified of telling anyone about it including doctors. Firstly I never believed that anything could be done about it, and I was taught to believe by my peers and family that admitting to having anything like depression or suicidal tendencies would lead to everyone branding me as crazy. Over the years, my depression developed further into severe social anxiety and avoidant personality disorder, none of which I recognized until my mid 20s as I always thought that this was simply how I was and nothing could be done about it. In recent years I began developing severe lethargy, fatigue, dizzyness, cognitive dysfunction, migraines, poor sleep, and vertigo. I also starting losing hearing in one ear at the age of 12, and in the second ear from 23. I went to see doctors for over 6 years regarding the hearing and dizzyness from the age of 19, and several CT, MRI and ear examinations confirmed that everything was physically healthy, and I got a diagnosis with menieres disease, and initially began to blame all of my symptoms on this. Somehow I was fortunate enough to have been given lifelong incapacity benefit for Menieres disease after several health examinations confirming the symptoms, and while doctors said that Menieres disease alone wouldnt be causing all the symptoms I had, the lack of any other diagnosis, and simply being told by more than 5 GPs and several ENT doctors that the symptoms could be 'caused by anything' and no solid diagnosis for over 6 years led to a rare display of sympathy from the health examiners who awarded me with IB. Following the diagnosis with Menieres Disease, I began to realize that I had depression, and on one visit to the ENT doctor managed to raise the topic and told them that I believed I had depression as well. His reply was 'I really dont think that you will have depression, because its too rare to have both that and menieres disease. Just carry on taking the medication (for dizzyness) that you have been prescribed and you should be fine. But very little changed with the anti vertigo medications, I was still spending most of everyday lying in bed feeling exhausted and like I just wanted my life to end everyday. After waking up after a normal amount of sleep (7-9 hours), just 3-4 hours later I would already be nodding off to sleep while trying to anything else from severe fatigue and what always felt like dizzyness. Again I kept on blaming menieres disease for this and thought that the medications werent working and nothing could be done about it. I tried healthier diets with vitamin and mineral supplements but they did nothing to improve the symptoms as well. I was desperate to try and find something to raise my energy levels, so I started looking for over the counter treatments and first came across Ginkgo Biloba. I tried taking 6000 mg a day for 2 weeks, but absolutely nothing happened, not even the slightest placebo effect so I gave up on those and tried looking for something else. Then I came across and started reading into St John's Wort. At first I was skeptical following a complete lack of any improvement from Ginkgo,, but I read in several clinical trials, mainly this one at BMJ, so I thought it would be worth trying out. I found some 0.3% hypericum standardized tablets as my research advised, but accidentally bought about half the dosage that I later read was needed - 167 mg extract instead of 300 mg extract. At first I tried just taking one of the 167 mg tablets, but it did nothing and 3 hours after waking up and taking it, I was still lethargic and nodding off to sleep at my desk. So I thought that I would take a second to see if that would help at all, not expecting it to at all .... but I couldnt believe the result that ended up happening. Shortly after taking a second 167 mg johns wort tablet, I felt a rush of energy to my head and a warm and pleasant sensation, yet it was very worrying at first, which filled my temples and the sides of my head and face. Previously I also had a near constant daily migraine in both my temples and had tried taking many drugs for this but nothing worked. The warmth sensation after taking a full 333 mg of st johns wort completely eliminated this headache right away. I suddenly felt like I was full of energy and for the first time on over 10 years, I didnt feel exhausted during the day. I didnt think that the effect would last long, but I was wrong. I managed to stay awake for a never before managed 18 hours, before going to sleep. This was now the first time I went to sleep at 12 am, and woke up fully refreshed and full of energy at just 6 am that I have ever noticed. So I woke up because I felt unbelievably fine and full of energy, had breakfast and did the same again, I took just one 167 mg tablet at first, but three hours later I was exhausted and lethargic again so I took a second and the exact same thing happened. Wide awake, warm sensation rush to the head, awake with a never before felt level energy for another 18 hours. I thought that something couldnt be right and that it wouldnt last or work for long, but I knew that there was absolutely no way that this could just be a placebo effect, the strength of what just 333 mg of johns wort was doing for me was beyond any prescribed drug I've taken before, though I only ever had anti vertigo and painkiller drugs in the past, neither of which worked at all. Also I previously did not gain any result from Gingko Biloba, so if it was only a placebo effect why didnt it happen with gingko? And how could it possibly be this strong? For the next couple of days I carried on doing the same thing. Hovever yesterday I became very tired and fatigued at around 5 pm and needed to go to sleep and completely ruined my new found almost fixed sleep patern of 12 am - 6-7 am. I ended up staying in bed until 4 am, though I was fine after just a few hours sleep, I didnt want to ruin the new sleep cycle. So today I decided to try taking 3 x 333 mg doses spread apart 6-8 hours to try and avoid the early tiredness again, and each one topped me up to the same maximum energy level that I gained from the very first dose. I've been wide awake since 4 am, full of energy and its currently 7.15 pm and I still feel like I'm at the maximum energy peak, albeit having the slightly warm / flushed feeling in my temples and cheeks. Now I was so excited about this result that I tried telling a few people, only to be met with the same response from them all. Suddenly I'm now an uneducated hippie preaching about a placebo effect from an 'unproven hollistic / herbal remedy', never mind that many journals have confirmed the effectiveness of st johns wort, nor that I already completed a Human Biology degree, but was too ill from the depression at the time to get more than a ordinary degree as I needed to sleep all day and had a very poor lecture attendance rate. I actually studied drug trails as part of my degree, as well as psychiatric diseases from a genetics viewpoint (mainly unipolar and bipolar disorder), but none of that matters, as soon as I start telling people that this herbal remedy is working, I'm seen as being no different to a stoner on pot collecting benefits. So it seems like nothing much will happen socially or with my avoidant personality disorder, and though I have so high an energy level back, and early confidence gain was easily shattered by self righteous 'We actually have a job so are better and know a lot more than you' peers.