I have severe social anxiety. If I could help it, I would never leave my room. Somewhat recently, my psychiatrist finally managed to track my symptoms and diagnose me, and I was put on a medication. It worked. I finally starting talking to people, do things I never would have. I started using voice chat in online games- something I never would have done otherwise. And I made my first friend. I was happy and I finally starting feeling normal. But I feel like since I've started being myself, people have been more welcoming and friendly than ever before, and also colder and more annoyed towards me than ever before. I think the reason is because of who I am. I'm overall annoying, I'm way too smug about the garbage I call "art", I'm too loud and excitable, always in the way, etc. I make everyone around me uncomfortable. They say it's not wrong to be me, but I feel if "me" makes everyone upset, then it is wrong. I shouldn't be happy. I'm supposed to be quiet and introverted, because that's what makes everyone around me comfortable. I'd rather be lonely than hated. I genuinely feel like both me and everyone around me would be happier if I was gone. To be honest I hate myself for writing this. I'm just some stupid attention seeker who doesn't deserve the time of day. But I just needed to get this out I guess.