So there’s this one guy in my “friend” group whom i find entirely insufferable and although half of it is to do with his passive aggressive behaviour and drama-oriented personality (one of those who “hate drama” but revolve their life around it), the other thing i hate most about his is the way in which he words things.
Every single time he states and opinion (usually one he saw on the internet because he can’t seem to form opinions of his own) he will state the opinion he saw and then instead just saying “i agree with that” or anything he will ALWAYS without fail instead say something along the lines of “i dunno maybe they’re right?” or “i dunno like” and wait for the others’ input or even worse ask “i dunno what do y’all think of it?” instead of just stating his opinion upfront.
I didn’t notice this at first, in fact i think i only noticed like three months ago which is very late. I feel like i never found him annoying until i noticed his passive aggressive demeanour and very, very frustrating self-centred group-think mindset that i started looking at him as a whole and finding even more little signs of these annoyances.
See, the way he words things isn’t some sign that he is unsure but instead, keeping in mind the whole group-think thing, a weird way of making sure that he’s in check with the rest of the friend group and that they all agree with him or that at least his favourite person in the group (obv not me) agrees with him. He is just completely incapable of stating his opinion on it’s own and must instead make little hints at it to be as inoffensive as possible and i really really cannot tell you just how much it pisses me off.
What angers me is just how insincere it is. He isn’t unsure of his opinion he just wants to stay on the same wavelength with that one girl in the “friend” group (she is loved because she is direct due to autism and “says it how it is” despite the fact that she is actually VERY biased towards him and lets him off more) because it gives her a chance to correct him under the impression that he is unsure so that he can either immediately agree with her just because or go “mmmmmm i dunno” instead of just saying he doesn’t agree.
Meanwhile, if i correct him on something sometimes he might agree with me but most of the time he decides to take it as a personal attack of some kind. He used to look at me and then ignore me before but now he’s caught onto how i’m being more direct because i’m so done with this sugar coating bs he does i might as well show him how to have an opinion.
All i can say is, it suits his personality as a whole as he is simultaneously a people pleaser- or maybe not a people pleaser and just manipulates people into agreeing with him, and a passive aggressive self-righteous bully. Dishonesty isn’t all too bad but imo, insincerity is much worse and because it’s everywhere. Especially because being around people who are insincere forces you to be insincere and it’s happened to me.
It’s like being suffocated because being sincere with insincere people causes problems. If you’re sincerely honest about the fact that others’ insincerity is bothering you they will start to victimise themselves and think they are being attacked because it’s quite literally all that they know. The worst thing is that there’s no way to make them see how they are or to change their ways because of this, and i’ll basically just have to put up with it in the mean time.
To be quite fair i only have a month and a half of school left and things seem to be better than i thought because i thought i wouldn’t make it this far two months ago but then college is another problem of course.
At least one good thing about college is that i’ll get away from these people. I mean that is a VERY good thing considering how i feel i’m being tormented by these people. It will be hard but i’m very much determined to get away from these as quickly as possible because it’s quite literally killing me. Oh, and another good thing is that i now have full intentions of attending college. Before i thought i’d do it before college could start but now i see that there are opportunities even though it’ll be terrifying.
To be fair i think i should have just written this in my journal instead because i’d feel more productive and nobody on here will find this particularly relatable or even comprehensible and so won’t read it and so therefore no replies but i am glad i got this out because it’s pretty much all i ever think about these days.
The fact that i’ll certainly have to deal with people like this for the rest of my life (when i get a job ect.) is depressing though but i’m so so glad that for once in my life i know who i want to be around and who i don’t want to be around and i have an especially grounded definition of what a friend is which will become especially helpful then.
Every single time he states and opinion (usually one he saw on the internet because he can’t seem to form opinions of his own) he will state the opinion he saw and then instead just saying “i agree with that” or anything he will ALWAYS without fail instead say something along the lines of “i dunno maybe they’re right?” or “i dunno like” and wait for the others’ input or even worse ask “i dunno what do y’all think of it?” instead of just stating his opinion upfront.
I didn’t notice this at first, in fact i think i only noticed like three months ago which is very late. I feel like i never found him annoying until i noticed his passive aggressive demeanour and very, very frustrating self-centred group-think mindset that i started looking at him as a whole and finding even more little signs of these annoyances.
See, the way he words things isn’t some sign that he is unsure but instead, keeping in mind the whole group-think thing, a weird way of making sure that he’s in check with the rest of the friend group and that they all agree with him or that at least his favourite person in the group (obv not me) agrees with him. He is just completely incapable of stating his opinion on it’s own and must instead make little hints at it to be as inoffensive as possible and i really really cannot tell you just how much it pisses me off.
What angers me is just how insincere it is. He isn’t unsure of his opinion he just wants to stay on the same wavelength with that one girl in the “friend” group (she is loved because she is direct due to autism and “says it how it is” despite the fact that she is actually VERY biased towards him and lets him off more) because it gives her a chance to correct him under the impression that he is unsure so that he can either immediately agree with her just because or go “mmmmmm i dunno” instead of just saying he doesn’t agree.
Meanwhile, if i correct him on something sometimes he might agree with me but most of the time he decides to take it as a personal attack of some kind. He used to look at me and then ignore me before but now he’s caught onto how i’m being more direct because i’m so done with this sugar coating bs he does i might as well show him how to have an opinion.
All i can say is, it suits his personality as a whole as he is simultaneously a people pleaser- or maybe not a people pleaser and just manipulates people into agreeing with him, and a passive aggressive self-righteous bully. Dishonesty isn’t all too bad but imo, insincerity is much worse and because it’s everywhere. Especially because being around people who are insincere forces you to be insincere and it’s happened to me.
It’s like being suffocated because being sincere with insincere people causes problems. If you’re sincerely honest about the fact that others’ insincerity is bothering you they will start to victimise themselves and think they are being attacked because it’s quite literally all that they know. The worst thing is that there’s no way to make them see how they are or to change their ways because of this, and i’ll basically just have to put up with it in the mean time.
To be quite fair i only have a month and a half of school left and things seem to be better than i thought because i thought i wouldn’t make it this far two months ago but then college is another problem of course.
At least one good thing about college is that i’ll get away from these people. I mean that is a VERY good thing considering how i feel i’m being tormented by these people. It will be hard but i’m very much determined to get away from these as quickly as possible because it’s quite literally killing me. Oh, and another good thing is that i now have full intentions of attending college. Before i thought i’d do it before college could start but now i see that there are opportunities even though it’ll be terrifying.
To be fair i think i should have just written this in my journal instead because i’d feel more productive and nobody on here will find this particularly relatable or even comprehensible and so won’t read it and so therefore no replies but i am glad i got this out because it’s pretty much all i ever think about these days.
The fact that i’ll certainly have to deal with people like this for the rest of my life (when i get a job ect.) is depressing though but i’m so so glad that for once in my life i know who i want to be around and who i don’t want to be around and i have an especially grounded definition of what a friend is which will become especially helpful then.
