So... I woke from a triggering dream about my past, a minute before my alarm... to another nightmare. I was going to the pharmacy (yesterday I went shopping, going outside for the first time since I had been to the psych ER on Thursday night)... it went sort of okay... though my anxiety level was pretty high and I think if anyone had bumped into me by accident I would have burst into tears... even if my boyfriend was online and in my pocket constantly trying to cheer me up with his silly jokes... and he did crack some smiles on my pale lips. It was sort of on purpose that I forgot to renew my prescription on some of my medicine so I'd have to go back into town today (I'm trying to work against my own brain here)... and I was slowly getting myself ready... there's no rush, but I do need the pills by tomorrow as Easter holidays are starting and the pharmacy will be closed between Thursday until Tuesday... despite the dream I felt mildly prepared to go there. I was even planning to go to the art store... it's such a calming place for me if it's not too packed... I love sorting their brushes. Then came an email... a breaking news thing... explosions in Brussels airport. Brussels is far away from me... but my Dutch boyfriend lives almost next to the Belgian border. Just a minute after he told me to turn on the news, I told him I already knew. His co-worker was crying. Luckily they don't know anyone who were at the airport. But his co-worker was supposed to be at the airport tomorrow, at the exact same time as the explosions happened today. I told my boyfriend to help calm her down, get her some water... My boyfriend isn't feeling too well either... Fast forward... reports of possible bomb threats in Holland. Like my boyfriend said he doesn't live near any big import cities... and nor does his family... but still... And also... he confessed another reason why he wasn't too well about this... the day he gets a plane to go see me... he would have to fly out of that same airport... And... I know that a terrorist doesn't always have to go for the big towns. There's a case going on in my city, a girl who was bullied got in touch with terrorists and were actually building bombs, one of those intended to bomb her old school in a small town. There's sick people all over. So... I have every reason to just stay inside, hide in my bed, shivering, remembering how awful this world is... and how much proof I have, on my own body even. I was just a little kid when I learned how truly evil people could be. It took my boyfriend to prove to me that good people do actually exist. That is not how it's supposed to be.