I have a crush that I don't really want...?

#1
So I work a part-time job at a grocery store. I met a boy the same age as me (I think a few months older) and we became instant friends bonding over anime and video gaming. We've only known eachother for over a month now but at times we have personal conversations about our lives and our pasts (without getting into anything too dark, we aren't ready to talk about bad memories yet) while playing MMORPGs. He's always there to make me laugh and feel better when I'm down or push me to do my best when I'm feeling unmotivated at whatever I'm doing (even if he does take his time texting back or not at all, which I know he has a life so I'm not complaining, I'd be worried if he didn't have one XD). He really is a great person. A little too great. I think I developed an unwanted crush on him. I really don't want a crush on anyone. Too much heartache and stress that I don't need. This kinda hurts and I'm not even dating the guy, it really stinks! I almost want to confess now, get rejected/friendzoned then move on with my life, but I know if I did that...it'd be awkward being with him at work. Plus, its WAAAY too early to confess anything after just a month of meeting and I still barely know him, which would make it even more awkward. Plus, if we did date and we broke up, it'd have ruined a perfectly good friendship. What should I do? I want to keep my mouth shut and hope this dumb crush blows over but right now its eating away at me. Oh, and my job doesn't care about people dating in the same department. Just no PDA and whatnot. If I left something out, feel free to ask for details if it'll help you understand my predicament. ^_^
 

Ph1

Well-Known Member
#2
Sorry had to Google PDA think I'm getting a bit old haha. OK so firstly I'm single so take from this what you will. Right first thing I'd say is test the waters see if he does like you in that way try a bit of harmless flirting or invite him out for a drink or something or do both. Secondly if you think it's too soon take your time what's the rush your only a young woman, enjoy finding out more about him. Us men are weird things. Third option is go in all guns blazing, this is usually my CHOICE. THIS IS A BAD CHOICE DO NOT DO It. This 99% of the time ends badly in my case. Hope these ramblings are of some help.
 
#3
I think if you stay friends with him without saying anything, one of two things will happen. Either it will fade away or he will pick up on it and say something himself if he feels the same.

If he said something, you have the option to let him know that you like him or to tell him you appreciate it but let's take things slow and light.

I know that's probably not quite the answer you are looking for because you seem to say you aren't ready for a relationship, the heart is a strange thing. It's gotten me trouble more than once because I tend to it more than i follow my head.

I wish you the best
 

MrB79

Well-Known Member
#4
If he makes you happy and you like him...go for broke. There's alway the possibility he likes you, too. Better to take that chance than to wonder and regret. What have you got to lose? I do agree with taking things slow. Take your time, and do rush. Good luck. :)
 
#5
If he makes you happy and you like him...go for broke. There's alway the possibility he likes you, too. Better to take that chance than to wonder and regret. What have you got to lose? I do agree with taking things slow. Take your time, and do rush. Good luck. :)
The reason I don't want to say anything now is because it'd make things super awkward at work. Its his first job as well as mine and I don't want to ruin it for him just because his coworker (me) developed a crush on him. Plus, I like having him around as a fellow anime-loving fan. I just can't bring myself to ruin that but...yeah. I'm not ready to confess yet...
 
#6
Sorry had to Google PDA think I'm getting a bit old haha. OK so firstly I'm single so take from this what you will. Right first thing I'd say is test the waters see if he does like you in that way try a bit of harmless flirting or invite him out for a drink or something or do both. Secondly if you think it's too soon take your time what's the rush your only a young woman, enjoy finding out more about him. Us men are weird things. Third option is go in all guns blazing, this is usually my CHOICE. THIS IS A BAD CHOICE DO NOT DO It. This 99% of the time ends badly in my case. Hope these ramblings are of some help.
It certainly gave me a chuckle! XD But yeah...the thing is, I still live at home and my parents don't allow me out of the house except for work (I'm a recent highschool graduate). Especially not to hang out with a boy. Girls are ok since I'm straight. So I have to rely on texting him, and like I said earlier, he's difficult to get ahold of and/or even strike up a conversation...we only actually talk briefly at work (otherwise boss b*tch WILL yell at us to say we're socializing) and those rare deep conversations that haven't happened for a while now. He said he's picky who he lets in, but I would like to get to know him better without being awkward...
 
#7
I think if you stay friends with him without saying anything, one of two things will happen. Either it will fade away or he will pick up on it and say something himself if he feels the same.

If he said something, you have the option to let him know that you like him or to tell him you appreciate it but let's take things slow and light.

I know that's probably not quite the answer you are looking for because you seem to say you aren't ready for a relationship, the heart is a strange thing. It's gotten me trouble more than once because I tend to it more than i follow my head.

I wish you the best
Thank you! Yes, I probably am rushing my thoughts. I like him, but kinda wish I could unlike him so I don't have to deal with the sadness of rejection and losing a friend/co-worker. But hey, if likes me back, I won't say no...I just see a slim chance of that happening. ^_^
 

Ph1

Well-Known Member
#12
Just barely hanging. I know he's shy, but even shy guys have standards. He said he's very picky who he lets in since he's been hurt before. Can't blame him there. :/
By the sounds of it he knows that you like him. He is just holding back for now, as you said he's been hurt before. Just stick in there, and be patient, if he didn't like you he would have said. You have a lot in common with anime so have plenty to bond over. Let what you have between the two of you bloom naturally, and I'm sure it will given time and patience. Stick in there being his friend fir now.
 
#13
By the sounds of it he knows that you like him. He is just holding back for now, as you said he's been hurt before. Just stick in there, and be patient, if he didn't like you he would have said. You have a lot in common with anime so have plenty to bond over. Let what you have between the two of you bloom naturally, and I'm sure it will given time and patience. Stick in there being his friend fir now.
I work with him tomorrow morning, hopefully I don't mess it up too soon!
 

Walker

Admin
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#20
It's obvious. Come out to your parents as gay so you can hang out with guys outside of work. You're an adult already.
 

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