I dunno if its a side-effect of my depression, but I have a very hard time making a decision and sticking to it. Many times, I will regret making it almost immediately and wish I could go back and change it, when its often too late. Then I will just sit and be miserable and brood over it, which doesn't do me any good! Such a thing has already happened to me just recently.
I lost my job just last week, I look on the bright-side and think that I have a chance to rest and relax since my job was giving a very hard time in approving any time-off from work, even though I had plenty of hours available to use! My dad had already made a plane ticket to go to India and I decided to join him there also. I don't think I was thinking straight as this was right when I got fired. I should have waited it out. I made that flight reservation a couple of days ago. I suppose my reasons were to travel to another country (even though I've already been there several times!) and get some unique experiences and also when I return and get another job, I wouldn't have a chance for a long vacation in a long time, if ever!
The day after I paid my dad for the reservation, I already am regretting that decision. The reason why is that I have already been there several times in the last five years, most recent was in December 2009. My dad takes me to the exact same spots, we do the same thing. I wish I could visit another country but I'm not comfortable in going to another country as well as my dad only likes to visit India. Also, he is miserly and one big draw for him to go to India is probably so he can stay with his relatives instead of in a motel/hotel, unlike in other countries. Also because my dad is a miser, he'd spend little there and I wouldn't feel comfortable with it being a very 3rd world country, lacking many comforts and amenities we take for granted here. Probably order the cheapest food, rent the cheapest motel (a hotel is out of the question, I don't think I've ever stayed in one so far!), etc.
One thing that boggles my mind is that the flight is two-months away but its already non-refundable. I just find that absolutely idiotic and making -100% sense. But I'm thinking of just forfeiting the fee and not going. The funny thing is I believe I had the exact same emotions before my last trip in December 2009. I paid for the ticket maybe 1-2 months in advance and then didn't want to go and wondered why the ticket wasn't refundable many days in advance. But I ultimately went, as I didn't want that stupid asshole greedy carrier to take my money for nothing! I did hate it at times, my depression would flare up. I think it was mainly because my dad was talking of arranged marriage, which he is talking about again on this trip, for me to definitely meet some prospective brides and has already talked to some of their parents and would be disappointed if I was a no-show. But on the last day of being there in my last trip, I was missing it and didn't want to come back home. I'm on an emotional roller-coaster and its very frustrating. Right now, I feel like since I have some free time before getting another job, why am I wasting it going to a country I've already freaking gone to!? With my next job, I also would have very little time, if any, for vacation (I hear Europe is much better in giving long vacations than the U.S, eg. 6 weeks required by LAW in some European countries vs. 2 weeks MAX here in the U.S. Man, I am jealous!). Why should I waste it going to the same place again?
If I go crazy over minor things like this, there is no way I can make more serious decisions like marry or have children. Hell, the only people that'd want to marry me were those in India wanting a green-card and probably why they want to meet me in a couple of months if I go. I wonder what I should do. Sorry for the crazy, rambling, long post (probably par the course here!) and thanks to anyone for replying back.
I lost my job just last week, I look on the bright-side and think that I have a chance to rest and relax since my job was giving a very hard time in approving any time-off from work, even though I had plenty of hours available to use! My dad had already made a plane ticket to go to India and I decided to join him there also. I don't think I was thinking straight as this was right when I got fired. I should have waited it out. I made that flight reservation a couple of days ago. I suppose my reasons were to travel to another country (even though I've already been there several times!) and get some unique experiences and also when I return and get another job, I wouldn't have a chance for a long vacation in a long time, if ever!
The day after I paid my dad for the reservation, I already am regretting that decision. The reason why is that I have already been there several times in the last five years, most recent was in December 2009. My dad takes me to the exact same spots, we do the same thing. I wish I could visit another country but I'm not comfortable in going to another country as well as my dad only likes to visit India. Also, he is miserly and one big draw for him to go to India is probably so he can stay with his relatives instead of in a motel/hotel, unlike in other countries. Also because my dad is a miser, he'd spend little there and I wouldn't feel comfortable with it being a very 3rd world country, lacking many comforts and amenities we take for granted here. Probably order the cheapest food, rent the cheapest motel (a hotel is out of the question, I don't think I've ever stayed in one so far!), etc.
One thing that boggles my mind is that the flight is two-months away but its already non-refundable. I just find that absolutely idiotic and making -100% sense. But I'm thinking of just forfeiting the fee and not going. The funny thing is I believe I had the exact same emotions before my last trip in December 2009. I paid for the ticket maybe 1-2 months in advance and then didn't want to go and wondered why the ticket wasn't refundable many days in advance. But I ultimately went, as I didn't want that stupid asshole greedy carrier to take my money for nothing! I did hate it at times, my depression would flare up. I think it was mainly because my dad was talking of arranged marriage, which he is talking about again on this trip, for me to definitely meet some prospective brides and has already talked to some of their parents and would be disappointed if I was a no-show. But on the last day of being there in my last trip, I was missing it and didn't want to come back home. I'm on an emotional roller-coaster and its very frustrating. Right now, I feel like since I have some free time before getting another job, why am I wasting it going to a country I've already freaking gone to!? With my next job, I also would have very little time, if any, for vacation (I hear Europe is much better in giving long vacations than the U.S, eg. 6 weeks required by LAW in some European countries vs. 2 weeks MAX here in the U.S. Man, I am jealous!). Why should I waste it going to the same place again?
If I go crazy over minor things like this, there is no way I can make more serious decisions like marry or have children. Hell, the only people that'd want to marry me were those in India wanting a green-card and probably why they want to meet me in a couple of months if I go. I wonder what I should do. Sorry for the crazy, rambling, long post (probably par the course here!) and thanks to anyone for replying back.
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