I have no friends at work.

Discussion in 'Mental Health Disorders' started by CoughSyrup, Jun 30, 2013.

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  1. CoughSyrup

    CoughSyrup New Member

    I started work a month ago. I dunno if rules allow me to say the company name, but it's a fast food place well known for it's great customer service and chicken. Yum.

    Anyway. I feel like a complete idiot. I mess up stupid things a lot and I feel like the other employees, who have been working there for YEARS, think I'm stupid for not realizing things that could be just common sense.

    It's hard to be happy and smiley for the customer when I'm so uncomfortable around my coworkers. Not to mention, I am a complete introvert and it's hard to deal with lots of strangers in the first place. So not only am I working customer service with a million unfamiliar faces, but I don't even have any friends behind the counter to back myself up to. It feels terrible.

    I just got back from a meeting. Everyone is good friends and all hung out and spoke after the meeting was over, although I left immediately and no one bothered to say goodbye. It's a little lonely.

    I just feel lonely and embarrassed. I can't stop thinking about the things I've done to mess up my simple jobs. Or how it's so hard to try to connect with my coworkers. A few of the other cashiers are eager to talk to me when we're not busy, but with my social anxieties it's really hard to accept that and reciprocate it.

    And it's not that the other employees are harsh, mean, or careless, either. It's all my fault. I do things wrong and worry about it too much. My coworkers are really nice, and I like them a lot. A couple of them even make an effort to talk to me when business is slow.

    It's just that I'm so afraid of what they think of me, and I know they see me mess up EVERYTHING I do. It's terrifying. And with my social anxiety+introversion, I get so withdrawn at work because I'm dealing with so many strangers at once. It's so extremely hard to be myself when my anxiety and my natural instinct is to retreat.

    I just wish that I were actually friends with these people so I could stop being so afraid to go to work.
  2. razor2012

    razor2012 Active Member

    I took a myers briggs test and found out I'm an ENFP. I'm both intro and extroverted. When I started a new job 10 months ago the introverted part took over, and my social anxiety peaked. I was so nervous at times my knees would shake. I thought everyone at work hated me and would even talk behind my back. But as time went on I realized that wasn't so true. And now that I know everyone better, I really don't care as much even if it does happen. I totally understand how you can feel having introverted tendencies, and then getting put on the spot, and trying to learn a new environment, socially, and professionally.
    Earlier, I started to read self help books to reverse the social anxiety, I never did before because it was never a big enough problem. How defenseless and weak I would feel at times, it was ridiculous. I knew I needed to do something, or I might end up doing something stupid. So, after reading about this SA problem and all these treatment methods, I started this tapping thing with affirmations. It's called eft? I think the affirmations are the best part. It's corny, but I think people with a healthy self esteem do it naturally. Our brain is like a machine. When we constantly talk to ourselves negatively, we train our brain and then our brain forms those negative thoughts it on it's own. We need to continue in this fashion, but use positive thoughts to replace the negative ones. Then we start to realize how great we really are, and we want to be us, and we cringe at the thought of being someone else. I haven't done the eft for months. I came back here to post on the forum because I had some negative setbacks in my life and needed to vent. I'm glad you shared your story, thank you. Things will get better for you, it's just a matter of getting used to the job. It took a few months for me, but it's good now. I'm at the point now where I am now looking at finding some friends (I only have one), and dating too. Give eft a try. There are plenty of free resources if you google it. Take care.
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