I have no where else to put this so I thought I may as well put it here.

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by MonkeyCadet, Nov 20, 2012.

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  1. MonkeyCadet

    MonkeyCadet Member

    Everyday I wake up I take my daily dose of poison. Not literally but it's that figurative thing I've developed for myself where the poison is me waking up in the morning. I no longer live life through my clear mind, I live life through an altered being by avoiding being sober as much as possible. A toll it takes... And the toll grows clearer and clearer every day for me... Thoughts turn into plans, plans become more thorough... It's just a matter of time when I decide to pull the plug which I have so comfortably adopted the idea that "If I'm going out, it's going to be on my own terms.". Can't remember when this happened but it happened and keeps getting worse... What's the point when you've come to the conclusion you live so others don't have to deal with the pains of you leaving their lives so abruptly. It's the sole reason I'm here today, and it's the sole reason I live with so much pain... What's the point of living for others when you can't even live for yourself when you were put on this planet just to live. I can't stand it anymore and it's killing me when I haven't even gotten to that end yet. I want to, and I think I will... If not now, the new year... Ramble Ramble Ramble... Nothing else I'm good for... Just a waste of skin
     
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    YOu are not a wast of skin hun The thing is hun YOU have to start doing things for YOU ok. YOU talk to your doctor get some help to get out of the depression you in help to stop these thoughts. YOU do things that will help YOU hun get help to stop the drinking ok YOU know alcohol is a depressant hun get help to get you sober again and get you on a different path ok. LIve for what you want do something different ok hugs
     
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