I have severe untreated anxiety.

Discussion in 'Mental Health Disorders' started by Joshy, Jun 14, 2013.

Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.
  1. Joshy

    Joshy Well-Known Member

    To put it simply this is how bad my anxiety is;

    Example; I want to go for a walk outside for some fresh air and look at the beautiful clouds and feel physically healthy.

    My Anxiety is this bad; I can't just walk outside because I feel like someone might be looking at me from their window thinking criticizing things about me like "he looks gay", "he looks f**king weird and ugly", and other sh*t. And I feel like there's just no use going outside for a walk because there's no one to talk to while I walk. And there is no where to walk to so it'd be a useless walk. But I want to walk. I just want to walk with someone beside me... But I don't have any friends except 1 best friend who moved across town last year and I rarely see him at all especially since he's in his last year of high school, he has a job now, and I don't drive at all because I'm extremely uncomfortable with driving and I really simply HATE driving. It makes me so nervous to be in a vehicle with people around me.
    This makes it all especially worse because I also have agliophobia. (The fear of physical pain. I avoid all situation I suspect might be inflict pain on me. I really hate the feeling of pain.)

    I can't tell people my mother how I feel because I feel she might definitely just say "it's because you don't come out of your room! go and do something and be normal!" but it really isn't that easy for me to magically be normal and go outside of my room. (I'm turning 19 in November and I'm a drop out with a girlfriend I've been with for a over 1 year who is losing interest in me and we don't ever talk much at all or see each other. It feels like only sex on weekends mostly because we really don't have much at all in common and she's kind of mean to me and I can understand her frustration with me being without a license, a job, and a drop out..)

    So I'm stuck in my own isolation. That's how bad my anxiety is. I can't even speak to my mother about going to see a psychiatrist or getting prescribed something to help for my anxiety. I'm way too nervous to do anything productive to get my life moving.

    It's extremely difficult for me. But this doesn't make me suicidal because as I have said I am agliophobic. I'm even too scared to kill myself.
    So I could never do that. I'm too afraid to die.

    Any advice you can give me for my anxiety, or relate to my anxiety to make me feel better today? :/
  2. 1970

    1970 New Member

    I can relate, but I'm pretty sure I can't help.

    I've been trapped inside wherever I live for about five years. I'd go out, but who knows what other people are thinking or what they'll do? I agree that it's harder than people think: I know that if I could go outside I'd go; it's just safer here.

    Maybe if you had someone to go outside with it would help. I get really panicky whenever I'm out and alone, but I can deal with going out when I'm with someone else.
  3. morning rush

    morning rush Well-Known Member

    I have severe anxiety and social phobias, and it's kind of related to being hurt. Which I think is what you have. Meds help a whole lot.

    I couldn't even go into a store because I was worried the clerks and owners would think I'm stealing. I would go into a store, and need to go to the bathroom, so I would hurry to the bathroom and couldn't go into the store a second time because of it.

    I ended up leaving university because of it, and I can't sleep because of it. I would wear layers upon layers of clothes. Once I had worn a tank top and walked to the subway, finally I had to go back home and change because I was convinced the people around me judged me and that it was too revealing (which it wasn't). The more you tell yourself your reaction is ridiculous, the stronger it hurts....

    like I said, meds help a whole lot. With the meds I still have anxiety but I can control it a bit.

    about going out, do you have an mp3 or cd walkman? Make it a time to listen to music. So that everytime you go for a walk you get to listen to music. I go everyday in the backyard of my building to the swing. That's when I go swing, listen to music and play games on my i-touch. Or I read. Or make an excuse, like well I want to get a bag of chip or a soda, and so go to the store and back, even if it's close. Do that every day and eventually it will be tolerable, then you'll enjoy it.

    It's hard at first, I know, because I completely isolated myself for a few years. But the more you do it, the more confident you get and since you see that nothing bad happened, it's less stressful. Write it down, everytime you go out and nothing bad happened. Try also to catch your negative thinking, if you think that person is looking at you from the window and thinking bad things, why would they do that? and they could always say, wow, he's hot! Love what he's wearing, I want one too. etc...
Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.