I have so much hatred towards men.

[Lonelyheart200]

Mostly because of their biology. They're biologically inclined toward beautiful young women. I'm going to get old in 10 years. I'm not pretty. What's the point of dating? If they all end in cheating. No one cares about personality or anything.
I don't have a good personality too. I'm paranoid and I hate interacting with people I have zero friends.

 

[1Lefty]

Mostly because of their biology. They're biologically inclined toward beautiful young women. I'm going to get old in 10 years. I'm not pretty. What's the point of dating? If they all end in cheating. No one cares about personality or anything.
I don't have a good personality too. I'm paranoid and I hate interacting with people I have zero friends.

I'm sorry that your experience has been like that. I think society does place more value on a person based on their physical attributes and youth. I agree that lot of men do seem to be attracted to beautiful young women, but not every man does. I would not want to be in my teens or twenties again, with the doubts and uncertainties, and feelings of undesirability.
Speaking as a man, I can almost promise you that there are males your age that also feel unwanted and pushed aside because of their appearance, or other superficial traits. I know I did. I also know that I craved the attention of a woman, whether beautiful or plain in appearance. When I did date, (or later, was married), I was appreciative, and didn't cheat.
There really are men that put more importance on inner beauty, they may not be common, or easy to find, but it only takes one. I hope you don't become bitter, or give up.
As far as personality, you seem to fit in, and do well here. I know we're not the same as real life, but you have friends here.

I wish you well

peace

 

[Livelife]

I'm sorry to hear you feel this way.
Men would look at me until I was in my 50's. Older men as well, regardless of their looks, only look for younger women. And I'm thin but not that "hourglass" shape. So now I'm just invisible. It is a bad feeling. Being a naturally quiet person most of the time doesn't help either. It is messed up. Both my husbands were average looking-- whatever that means in this culture --and it never mattered to me that they weren't model handsome. Why should it?
Women do have the disadvantage in this scenario. I don't understand it either.

 

[Lonelyheart200]

I'm sorry that your experience has been like that. I think society does place more value on a person based on their physical attributes and youth. I agree that lot of men do seem to be attracted to beautiful young women, but not every man does. I would not want to be in my teens or twenties again, with the doubts and uncertainties, and feelings of undesirability.
Speaking as a man, I can almost promise you that there are males your age that also feel unwanted and pushed aside because of their appearance, or other superficial traits. I know I did. I also know that I craved the attention of a woman, whether beautiful or plain in appearance. When I did date, (or later, was married), I was appreciative, and didn't cheat.
There really are men that put more importance on inner beauty, they may not be common, or easy to find, but it only takes one. I hope you don't become bitter, or give up.
As far as personality, you seem to fit in, and do well here. I know we're not the same as real life, but you have friends here.

I wish you well

peace

.

I'm sorry that your experience has been like that. I think society does place more value on a person based on their physical attributes and youth. I agree that lot of men do seem to be attracted to beautiful young women, but not every man does. I would not want to be in my teens or twenties again, with the doubts and uncertainties, and feelings of undesirability.
Speaking as a man, I can almost promise you that there are males your age that also feel unwanted and pushed aside because of their appearance, or other superficial traits. I know I did. I also know that I craved the attention of a woman, whether beautiful or plain in appearance. When I did date, (or later, was married), I was appreciative, and didn't cheat.
There really are men that put more importance on inner beauty, they may not be common, or easy to find, but it only takes one. I hope you don't become bitter, or give up.
As far as personality, you seem to fit in, and do well here. I know we're not the same as real life, but you have friends here.

I wish you well

peace

So glad you're not like other men. Cause most of them cheat. You're wife is a very lucky woman. I'm envious to her.
Well they're insecure about their looks but they like very beautiful women.

 

[Lonelyheart200]

I'm sorry to hear you feel this way.
Men would look at me until I was in my 50's. Older men as well, regardless of their looks, only look for younger women. And I'm thin but not that "hourglass" shape. So now I'm just invisible. It is a bad feeling. Being a naturally quiet person most of the time doesn't help either. It is messed up. Both my husbands were average looking-- whatever that means in this culture --and it never mattered to me that they weren't model handsome. Why should it?
Women do have the disadvantage in this scenario. I don't understand it either.

I guess you're so beautiful and hot. Only a very beautiful woman get attention till her 50s. I'm in my mid twenties I don't get much.
I'm slim with curves but it doesn't help much. I think men like thin women with beautiful faces and eyes. Not curvy women.
I also don't wear revealing clothes or fit clothes. Mostly baggy. I don't like some creeps stare at my body at all.

 

[Livelife]

I guess you're so beautiful and hot. Only a very beautiful woman get attention till her 50s. I'm in my mid twenties I don't get much.
I'm slim with curves but it doesn't help much. I think men like thin women with beautiful faces and eyes. Not curvy women.
I also don't wear revealing clothes or fit clothes. Mostly baggy. I don't like some creeps state at my body at all.

I’m not beautiful and never was. And I’ve never been called”hot”. And I’ve always worn loose fitting and plain clothing. We’ll have to agree to disagree about curvyness…My experience over the decades is that most men take their first looks of a woman directly below a woman’s neck.

 

[foundlostsoul]

I'm a trans woman, and while I've never related well to men or fit in with most of them -- and believe me I tried for decades before accepting myself! -- I did spend a very long time trying to understand them. Lots and lots of (cisgender straight) men are like you describe, and it's awful. But enough are not like that that you can probably meet one you're compatible with.

You asked kind of rhetorically what's the point of dating? But I think there's value in genuinely asking: what do you want to get out of dating? Not just practically but also emotionally?

Wishing you all the best ❤️

 

[Lonelyheart200]

Im not beautiful and never was. And I’ve always worn loose fitting and plain clothing. We’ll have to agree to disagree. My experience over the decades is that men take their first looks of a woman is directly below a woman’s neck.😥

Those the kind of men you should stay away from. I hate them.

I’m not beautiful and never was. And I’ve never been called”hot”. And I’ve always worn loose fitting and plain clothing. We’ll have to agree to disagree about curvyness…My experience over the decades is that most men take their first looks of a woman directly below a woman’s neck.

My experience was that they mostly care about eyes and hair and face. I don't have beautiful eyes.
I think a body which is not fat or emaciated is enough.

 

[Lonelyheart200]

I'm a trans woman, and while I've never related well to men or fit in with most of them -- and believe me I tried for decades before accepting myself! -- I did spend a very long time trying to understand them. Lots and lots of (cisgender straight) men are like you describe, and it's awful. But enough are not like that that you can probably meet one you're compatible with.

You asked kind of rhetorically what's the point of dating? But I think there's value in genuinely asking: what do you want to get out of dating? Not just practically but also emotionally?

Wishing you all the best ❤️

I want trust, loyalty, companionship, love and all.

 

[snails]

I can't help but think you're going round and round issues that aren't helping you. Is there something deeper at play that you want to talk about?

 

[foundlostsoul]

I want trust, loyalty, companionship, love and all.

This may seem like a silly question, but sometimes answering silly questions has helped me. What are your emotional needs that that finding trust, loyalty, companionship, and love would meet?

Like, for me (not just on the topic of dating), I have insecurities around abandonment and neglect, so having people who care about me reach out to me regularly helps me learn I can trust such people while I heal from that emotional wound.

 

[Lonelyheart200]

I can't help but think you're going round and round issues that aren't helping you. Is there something deeper at play that you want to talk about?

I have extreme fear of abandonment. I have a very very abusive parents especially my dad who beat me and threat me every day. I can trust no person.
I hate every one I have zero friends and I'm not allowed to talk to anyone over the phone. I'm almost 25.

 

[snails]

I have extreme fear of abandonment. I have a very very abusive parents especially my dad who beat me and threat me every day. I can trust no person.
I hate every one I have zero friends and I'm not allowed to talk to anyone over the phone. I'm almost 25.

I'm sorry to hear that. Can you move out or what stops you from doing so?

 

[foundlostsoul]

I have extreme fear of abandonment. I have a very very abusive parents especially my dad who beat me and threat me every day. I can trust no person.
I hate every one I have zero friends and I'm not allowed to talk to anyone over the phone. I'm almost 25.

I'm so sorry you're navigating that. Getting out of that situation seems really important for your well-being, not just your ability to date but overall. Is getting out of that situation something you can work towards?

 

[Lonelyheart200]

I'm sorry to hear that. Can you move out or what stops you from doing so?

Unfortunately not currently. I have to stay here two more years. I want to migrate to another country but I can't do it now. I have to live with them.

 

[foundlostsoul]

That's going to be a challenging two years based on what you've said. I know you opened this thread talking about dating, but I think it may make more sense to focus on getting through these two years and not date seriously if at all. Once you've moved you'll be in a better place to heal from this situation and bring that version of yourself into relationships. You're relationships will be better for you and you'll be a better partner, too.

 

[snails]

Unfortunately not currently. I have to stay here two more years. I want to migrate to another country but I can't do it now. I have to live with them.

That's a shame. What are the blocks? I'm guessing financial but you're working right? Where do you want to migrate to and why?

 

[Lonelyheart200]

That's going to be a challenging two years based on what you've said. I know you opened this thread talking about dating, but I think it may make more sense to focus on getting through these two years and not date seriously if at all. Once you've moved you'll be in a better place to heal from this situation and bring that version of yourself into relationships. You're relationships will be better for you and you'll be a better partner, too.

Believe me or not I want to stay alone forever. Sometimes I think about killing people who will abandon me in the future. I'm very afraid of that.

 

[Lonelyheart200]

That's a shame. What are the blocks? I'm guessing financial but you're working right? Where do you want to migrate to and why?

Yeah I work here. I'm from a very bad country in middle east. I don't get paid enough and single women can't live independently easily.

 

[foundlostsoul]

Believe me or not I want to stay alone forever. Sometimes I think about killing people who will abandon me in the future. I'm very afraid of that.

I believe you 100% that you do not want to be alone forever. I don't know what the best course of action is for you to get to a safer country. Maybe you need to date to keep up appearances, but if you can get through two years, I'm sure you'll be able to meet someone in your new country.