I've always had a tough relationship with my hair, it's been the main source of body dysmorphia for me and for most of my teens, I was obsessive over how it looked. I would spend hours styling it throughout the day, using all kinds of products to manage my extremely thick, somewhat-straight, somewhat-way hair. Bad hair days would drive me to extreme frustration and depression. They would make me feel like disappearing from the world entirely, as if everyone around me was mocking me. Short haircuts would drive me to tears up until the age of 15 (I learned to be more discreet with my feelings after that haha), sometimes even suicidal ideation. The only time I ever attempted suicide was after I experienced some hair loss (thankfully it grew back) and was terrified that I would go bald and have to go on hair restoration medication at such a young age.
My country has mandatory military service for all males and we're required to shave our heads prior to enlistment. My enlistment date is sometime next month and I feel awful and suicidal about it. I've been terrified of shaving my head for military service ever since I was a child, when I first found out that it was something I had to do. I feel completely trapped and sick to my stomach just thinking about it. I'm going to miss my long-ish hair so much, for the first time in my life I feel somewhat good about how it looks (I desperately want to grow it out more and more) and I'm going to have to give that up so soon, and maintain short hair for the remaining two years of military service. The military has already been really accommodating to me over my mental health issues - I've been excused from combat training and even from having to stay in-camp. I'm really fortunate that way, but having to shave my head still makes me feel suicidal and hopeless. Everyone just tells me that "hair grows back" or that "I'll look fine" but they don't understand. I would rather die than shave my head.
My country has mandatory military service for all males and we're required to shave our heads prior to enlistment. My enlistment date is sometime next month and I feel awful and suicidal about it. I've been terrified of shaving my head for military service ever since I was a child, when I first found out that it was something I had to do. I feel completely trapped and sick to my stomach just thinking about it. I'm going to miss my long-ish hair so much, for the first time in my life I feel somewhat good about how it looks (I desperately want to grow it out more and more) and I'm going to have to give that up so soon, and maintain short hair for the remaining two years of military service. The military has already been really accommodating to me over my mental health issues - I've been excused from combat training and even from having to stay in-camp. I'm really fortunate that way, but having to shave my head still makes me feel suicidal and hopeless. Everyone just tells me that "hair grows back" or that "I'll look fine" but they don't understand. I would rather die than shave my head.
