I am an only child and have no children of my own. My mom was killed in 2011. She was my best friend. My dad is an extreme narcissist who has told me many times that he can't stand me. He visits for a week every few years or so, and complains about it the whole time he's here. My spouse and I are splitting up. We don't enjoy each other's company and mostly avoid spending time together. I've been living in a new state since 2012 (it's 2017 at this writing) and I have made literally no friends. I don't have a single friend. Not one. I think I've made friends and just when I trust them, they'll either pull the rug from under me, or stab me in the back with a big smile on their face. I have a degree from a Tier One university where I graduated in the top 5%, and a Masters degree from a lame ABA law school. I'm 42 and I'm a busser in a fucking restaurant twice a week. I hate my life. I have no one to talk to about it. I went to a therapist and he told me I was an idiot. I've worked hard all my life. I always told myself if things don't get better by age 40, I'll be ready. And I am ready. I've been planning creative ways to kill myself. I started today... <edit - methods> Anyway... So that's me. Or hopefully, soon, was me.
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