If I was to end myself it would be because of how lonely I am. On the surface it sounds superficial but it deep and traumatic for me. So many traumatic experiences that I don't even talk about (and some that I do) growing up has left me lost in life. I've accepted being completely isolated and without friends or in any relationships all my life and I'm embarrassed to be my age at 24. I just desperately need conversation. After avoiding and not ever trying, now trying years too late seems impossible. I am tired of being trapped without any socializing, it's rotting my brain. Even more is that I know that my social skills have degraded because I simply never am in a place to be talking with anyone. I don't think I would be suicidal feeling if only I had people to talk to in real life.