Hey guys... I don't know where to post this. It's been a while. Something pretty awful happened/ is happening to me, and as some of you know I am already staying in a homeless shelter. Life can't get much harder than this, and that's not really an exaggeration. So, at this point, due to the Lamictal rash and stopping my medicine before being able to see the prescribing psychiatric nurse whom I totally hate anyway, and the extra unneeded trauma in my life, I'm a real mess. I'm barely able to get out of bed (and by "bed", picture a steel cot. Lovely, yes?) Staff and clients alike ask me every day if I feel any better. Well no, no I don't. I'm just gonna turn over and sleep for another 7 hours, OK? I wake up with extreme anxiety early in the mornings, almost on the verge of a panic attack. Every single day. So I take Hydroxyzine, which is not very strong but at least it's something. But on an empty stomach it makes me even dizzier than just not eating. That's another thing too, I'm having a huge trouble with eating. I do feel hungry, but it just makes me get mad, but not at all out of bed. I don't want to feel anything at all. I just want to sleep. Sometimes it feels like I'm being sadistic to the hunger for making it suffer for food, and sometimes it feels like the hunger is sadistic for making me suffer until I eat. And then later in the day, or at the longest, the very next day, you must eat again. No, thank you. I just want to be cozy and sleep and forget the pain. My scruffy little dog sleeps with me and she is almost always entirely patient. I just want to sleep. To relax. To feel calm. To not have to do one darn task in the day, but feel cozy in bed.