I keep having visions of suicide

[Lestat]

It's like I have these fantasies about ways I can do it. I find myself just staring into the distance and imagining it. I don't plan on doing it, it just happens. I get a high from it, which scares me.
I won't go into details because I know it's not allowed. I just wondered if others do this? This isn't my first rodeo on here and suicide. But I think this is the first time I've gotten high from thinking about it.

I have had a few failed attempts. One messes me up pretty bad and had an impact on me that still persists. I feel I've learnt that it isn't suicide I was looking for but to stop feeling how I do... But suicide does feel like a solution.

 

[Butterfly]

Yes, this happens to me quite often. I'm quite mentally stable at the moment, but I do get these visions every now and again

 

[may71]

I get a high from it, which scares me

Many members say they have feelings of peace or happiness from thinking about suicide.

I think if you feel trapped, then imagining an escape that you have confidence in may produce euphoria or relaxation.

Other ways out might give you similar feelings, but only if you have confidence in them.

 

[OCDNihilism]

It's like I have these fantasies about ways I can do it. I find myself just staring into the distance and imagining it. I don't plan on doing it, it just happens. I get a high from it, which scares me.
I won't go into details because I know it's not allowed. I just wondered if others do this? This isn't my first rodeo on here and suicide. But I think this is the first time I've gotten high from thinking about it.

I have had a few failed attempts. One messes me up pretty bad and had an impact on me that still persists. I feel I've learnt that it isn't suicide I was looking for but to stop feeling how I do... But suicide does feel like a solution.

Comtemplating death is still a scary thing for me, but since I've at least experienced more of life in this last ten years, I feel I could go and it would've been a worthy battle. Some battles won't make history at all but it was my battle and I fought it and still do. Knowing I'll greet death sooner or later it definetly can relax me to know I have a way out, but it's not so easy when you really have to go through with it and think about what you are leaving behind with the consequences of your actions. Killing oneself takes some courage but more courage takes to keep on living.

It's very common for someone who's set to do it on advance will actually appear to be on a better place by the loved ones, probably because it takes the burden of life off of then, something some of us have weighting on us constantly. I actually think having sinked deep on depression sometimes allows me to get this feeling for a while, because in a way I actually put down the baggage of myself, until I build it up again... It's a rollercoaster.

How does your life look? Do you have a partner, a passion? How old are you?

 

[Lestat]

Comtemplating death is still a scary thing for me, but since I've at least experienced more of life in this last ten years, I feel I could go and it would've been a worthy battle. Some battles won't make history at all but it was my battle and I fought it and still do. Knowing I'll greet death sooner or later it definetly can relax me to know I have a way out, but it's not so easy when you really have to go through with it and think about what you are leaving behind with the consequences of your actions. Killing oneself takes some courage but more courage takes to keep on living.

It's very common for someone who's set to do it on advance will actually appear to be on a better place by the loved ones, probably because it takes the burden of life off of then, something some of us have weighting on us constantly. I actually think having sinked deep on depression sometimes allows me to get this feeling for a while, because in a way I actually put down the baggage of myself, until I build it up again... It's a rollercoaster.

How does your life look? Do you have a partner, a passion? How old are you?

I'll try to answer these questions as best I can.

How does your life look?: Well right now I'm living on my own. I'm going through a breakup. Sadly my home is filled with my ex partners belongings. She is in a different country so can't get her stuff. She expects me to send her it all.
Do I have a partner?: I guess I've answered this. No.
So I have a passion?: good question. I did have some. I guess it's been my relationship. But I have a passion for being creative with people. Sadly over the last 5-6 years I lost it probably due to my relationship being my focus.
How old are you?: I'm in my early 40s.

 

[Windhover]

Death by suicide is among a set of solutions, if one was to analyse life as a comples series of problems with corresponding series of solutions. But we're here to actively discourage suicide, to support other solutions. Gazing off into the distance and imagining suicide could be your mind processing your past attempts as much as contemplating dying. At least that is my intuition on it. I hope you find closure to your situation with your break-up. Sometimes taking the smallest action on a problem changes everything just enough to start to feel a bit better.

I'm sorry you have attempted suicide. I wonder if the high is dopamine, that is just me wondering aobut things like this.

 

[OCDNihilism]

I'll try to answer these questions as best I can.

How does your life look?: Well right now I'm living on my own. I'm going through a breakup. Sadly my home is filled with my ex partners belongings. She is in a different country so can't get her stuff. She expects me to send her it all.
Do I have a partner?: I guess I've answered this. No.
So I have a passion?: good question. I did have some. I guess it's been my relationship. But I have a passion for being creative with people. Sadly over the last 5-6 years I lost it probably due to my relationship being my focus.
How old are you?: I'm in my early 40s.

You should get those things on boxes or something. It doesn't help to have yourself reminded of her. I stumbled at some pictures on my phone of my ex and it messed me up, now a year later...

You mean creative with relationships with people? I think I know what you mean. The same sort of happened to me during my relationships and after COVID I lost the same frequency of contact with my group of friends which I enjoyed a bit of a leader of sorts, by being older then then - one is a cousin of mine.

What are the worse things you are going through now, or have been on life?

 

[spl4tzy404]

It's like I have these fantasies about ways I can do it. I find myself just staring into the distance and imagining it. I don't plan on doing it, it just happens. I get a high from it, which scares me.
I won't go into details because I know it's not allowed. I just wondered if others do this? This isn't my first rodeo on here and suicide. But I think this is the first time I've gotten high from thinking about it.

I have had a few failed attempts. One messes me up pretty bad and had an impact on me that still persists. I feel I've learnt that it isn't suicide I was looking for but to stop feeling how I do... But suicide does feel like a solution.

So real