I lost a lot

Discussion in 'Mental Health Disorders' started by Lorax, Aug 3, 2013.

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  1. Lorax

    Lorax Well-Known Member

    So,
    I'm new here first off. As a child i was used by certain family members. In my teens i took care of my Father who was very ill. We were in an accident.. I was driving and hit the side of another car around 50 mph. He had no seat belt on, but survived. Then a few years later, i watched as they took him from life support. Being his son, i felt responsible to stay by his side till the end. To this day.. In cars i feel panicked, i lost my license to a marijuana/driving incident. I feel incapable of having a true lasting relationship.. I just expect people to use me, to throw me aside once they are done with me. I get freaked out that no one will be faithful to me. I try not to accuse, but it pops in my head constantly. I can't even get too close to women without feeling "dead" it feels like i can't let anyone else in.. like i don't deserve to. As for my Father, i don't sleep much. I dream about loosing him nearly every night. So i try to get minimal sleep. I lost my job.. Bc i can't work on a day of no sleep. I lost the woman i loved.. Bc she didn't want to keep dealing with my various issues. I just gave up, just waiting on the day it ends
     
  2. gubby

    gubby Active Member

    I'm so sorry, there are better people out there. Sure there are the assholes, and the people who are less than assholes. I'm not that much of help but I really hope that greater person finds you, or you find them.
     
  3. Lorax

    Lorax Well-Known Member

    It's hard to think there are. I find people that are "nice" that inevitably use me. Still i appreciate hearing it, i'm hoping maybe some people here may better understand.
     
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