i lost my friend

Discussion in 'Grief and Bereavement' started by please forgive me, Sep 7, 2013.

  1. please forgive me

    please forgive me Account Closed

    I lost my friend to suicide 4 days ago, I feel so bad for not being their for him,
    he was my best friend, we laughed,we cried ,we were just like brother and sister.
    I feel a huge empty whole inside, i miss him so much, he always talked good about
    people, he had some issues just like everyone does, he was depressed and was
    bipolor. we got into an argument over the phone and he later killed himself, he
    was a wonderful friend, i miss him so much. i cant go on without him.
     
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    You can go on hun you can just as i went on you reach out to the people around you and hold on ok hugs
     
  3. please forgive me

    please forgive me Account Closed

    Its so hard to go on, didn't say goodbye or i am sorry, feels like so much unfinished business, thank you Total Eclipse for your help
     
  4. emily83

    emily83 Well-Known Member

    i am sorry for your loss.

    ((((((hugs))))))
     
  5. please forgive me

    please forgive me Account Closed

    emily83 thank you for your concern and kindness a hug is much needed hope you have a peaceful day, thank you again
     
  6. emily83

    emily83 Well-Known Member



    aww you're welcome.

    i know what it's like.... believe me

    i just lost my best friend bethany earlier this year- greef totally sucks
     
  7. CGMAngel

    CGMAngel Well-Known Member

    please forgive -

    I have been very affected by reading all your posts about the guilt you are wrestling with right now, and I wanted to say one thing.

    I realize your pain is probably too raw right now for you to be able to believe this, but I want to echo what others have said. Your friend's passing was NOT your fault. People do not kill themselves because of one incident or argument. Suicide is the result of years of mental agony, and you certainly weren't responsible for that. From what you have said, you were a very supportive friend. I am willing to bet that he saw your presence in his life as a great blessing.

    Please hang on. I hope and believe, in time, you will realize this also.
     
  8. please forgive me

    please forgive me Account Closed

    If it has been hurtful for you I am so sorry, i have never meant it to cause someone else pain, i hear what you and the others have said, i just hope to believe it myself that it was not my fault, its like all i see are the blame fingers pointed at me. its true he had been through years of agony, it just ended unexpectedly, he was doing so well, new job, things were looking up for him. thank you for helping me get through this.
     
  9. CGMAngel

    CGMAngel Well-Known Member

    Hurtful? No, please don't think you caused me pain! When I said "affected" I just meant that all the grief and shock you are experiencing right now had made a strong impression on me and I wanted to do something to try to help you.

    Clearly you are locked in "guilt mode" right now and feel you have to keep saying sorry to people, but please do not feel you have to apologize on here. All the emotions you are dealing with at the moment are completely normal, so please feel free to vent as much as you need to.
     
  10. please forgive me

    please forgive me Account Closed

    CGMAngel,you have been very helpful, thank you for caring and responding, i am so deep in the guilt mode, i am afraid of hurting everyone or making another mistake and making another person feel bad, i lost my friend one of the most caring person i ever known.
     
  11. CGMAngel

    CGMAngel Well-Known Member

    Hey -

    If ever you want to chat - about anything (even the weather if you'd like!), feel free to PM me. You can get through this, but you will need support. I hope you have some non-judgemental friends you can depend on.

    CGM
     
  12. please forgive me

    please forgive me Account Closed

    thank you, it would be nice to talk to someone.
     
  13. please forgive me

    please forgive me Account Closed

    just cant deal with life and loss i hurt so many people