I made it one more day

[wildflower]

Today, I forced myself to get off the couch, take a shower, put on some festive clothing, went outside on my small farm and fed my criters, danced a jig in the sunlight in my garden, even cracked a little smile. I think I can! I think I can. I think I can make it. Then I caught a glimps of him. His is gone. Never, no more to touch, never no more to feel his warmth or his words of comfort.
The wave of pain comes crashing in out of no where. I stop and catch my breath. Here I go one more time painting my living room another color to deal with my hurt and depression.
Mia my dog looks at me, dude this is the sixth color we have went through
in two weeks. Still it was a good day, even though I need a new paint brush. Thanks for being there.
Wildflower

 

[kittenofthesea97]

Well first I want to say that your writing is beautiful! Not that that's much comfort... I know.

Over a year ago I was dumped my the most wonderful girl (at least she was wonderful), and I still can't let go of the wonderful memories or the feeling that nothing I will ever experience in the future will ever measure up.

But maybe it will. The mere possibility of experiencing that kind of love in the future is reason to keep going, to make it one more day. I haven't figured out the secret (if there is one) to escaping the depression. The only way to keep going is to think of the touch, the warmth, and the words of comfort as experiences yet to come. Because maybe they are.

A heartbroken friend once said to me:
"I found the right person, and he ended it [the relationship with my friend]."
The only words I had were:
"The right person won't end it."

Those are words even I don't truly believe yet with my heart, but maybe someday we will really believe. And then someone will come along who will fulfill our belief. It isn't ever too late if you believe.

 

[wildflower]

Today the sun refused to shine it's warm rays upon my flesh. Yes, I found myself all alone. Without notice the pounding waves of emotional pain came in like a flood. My heart shakes with sharp pain that seems to take away
my breath. Is this the day? Someone help me! I can not breath. What is happening to me? Is this the last breath? That flows from this brusied, broken and crused spirit? There are no more tears that can fall from my swollen eyes.
Nature must feel my pain. She cried for me by letting it rain. No dancing
today feet. I crawl to my couch, pulling the covers over my head to hid from
the world today.
Wildflower