I messed up

[AJE]

ive lost the most amazing woman I'm ever going to meet.
I've pushed her to the limit with my stupid selfish behaviour & now I can't live with myself.
I wrongly thought I didn't need her in my life but now I know I do.
I've treated her bad, she's physically assaulted me more than once, thrown away all my belongings but I miss her so so much !!!!!!!
I really am at my wits end, now she's gone out of my life I realise what she meant to me.
This is no ordinary break up, I've never felt so devastated in all my life.
The pain is worse than anything I've ever experienced before.
I have bad thoughts & what I could do, it seems the only way out at the moment but I know I should try to fight it.
I can't believe I feel so bad, I'm getting help but the whole world seems so pointless right now.
Not even my kids who are my world seem to bring me up.
I feel so sad & hopeless

 

[ThePhantomLady]

Keep getting help please.

I know this is a horrible time in your life, but it doesn't have to be the end. I promise.

Having your heart broken takes time to get over, there's a lot of stages to go through and from what I remember this is a very complex thing. Don't give up. Keep fighting for yourself and your kids.

She doesn't have to be out of your life forever either, but for now you need to focus on you and getting better. You have a therapist right? Keep going, keep fighting.
Remember this isn't a thing that can be fixed quickly.
It took my boyfriend over a year to get over his ex, as well as what she did to him, even if he was seeing me through some of it. He had to get help as well (as well as for his PTSD). My point here being, it is possible, it might take time but it really is possible

 

[AJE]

Than

Keep getting help please.

I know this is a horrible time in your life, but it doesn't have to be the end. I promise.

Having your heart broken takes time to get over, there's a lot of stages to go through and from what I remember this is a very complex thing. Don't give up. Keep fighting for yourself and your kids.

She doesn't have to be out of your life forever either, but for now you need to focus on you and getting better. You have a therapist right? Keep going, keep fighting.
Remember this isn't a thing that can be fixed quickly.
It took my boyfriend over a year to get over his ex, as well as what she did to him, even if he was seeing me through some of it. He had to get help as well (as well as for his PTSD). My point here being, it is possible, it might take time but it really is possible

Thanks for the reply.
We have been bad to each other but I know deep in my heart she's is the perfect one for me,
No it's not over for good but the thought of never having her in my life again is more than I can bear.
I love my kids & I love my wife, she has been physically violent to me but I know if she clicked her fingers I'd go back running to her.
No one can understand why I still love her so much after what she's done to me but I just do.
In my soul I know that if I can't be with her than I dont want a life.
No one has ever affected me as she has, my life without her is not a life.
I've heard it said that u meet someone so special that they are the one no matter what & she is it !!!!'
I care not she has beaten me, thrown away all my belongings & alienated me from my family.
I just need her so so bad.
Thanks for listening