i miss him every day :'(

Discussion in 'Grief and Bereavement' started by justastrangegirl, Apr 8, 2013.

  1. justastrangegirl

    justastrangegirl Well-Known Member

    death didn't take my loved one either, but he physically disappeared from my world in 2006, when I was 15. A couple of years went by, and I never really thought of him anymore, nor what had happened between us because it was just too painful and embarrassing for me, I mean, I'm not even sure if the man I loved (and love) ever felt something for me. It was not until he texted me and asked me to meet him again that these feelings re-emerged.

    Sadly we never met. I had gained a lot of weight since we broke up, and I didn't want him to see me like this.

    He told me that it'd be weird to see each other again, but that it'd also be exciting.

    During my senior year of high school (in 2008), some girl told me he had been fooling around with some skinny bitch for a long time. When I asked him about it, he said, and I quote "Don't listen to that girl. She's just trying to bother you, because she knows she will NEVER mean for me what you mean for me" and then he asked me if I was seeing anyone, and I told him that I wasn't and he replied "I'm not seeing anyone either, but I don't like serious commitments".

    In 2009 he went to Sweden, his father's family is from Sweden, and HE texted me telling me he was going away, and so I told him that I wanted to see him, that I needed to talk to him, and he said that he liked the idea, but then, out of the blue, when I summoned him in a place, he told me that'd be better just to meet in a night club (he knows I can't go to night clubs because I have no friends to go with). I don't know why the sudden change of mind.

    Anyway, he came back a year later, and never talked to me again.

    I'm still wondering what happened. I still want to know if he ever felt something for me, or if I was just a bet like my father told me.

    I don't know what to do. I have this NEED of talking to him, of seeing him again, but I'm too scared of texting him and receive no answer. I know he's fooling around with a couple of girls.. but.. in the bottom of my heart I hope that he will one day tell me everything I want to hear and that we'll get back together..
  2. HelgasAngel

    HelgasAngel Well-Known Member

    I don't tell people what they want to hear. I tell them what they need to hear. Here I go...this guy doesn't care about you anymore. Plain and simple. I'm speaking as a guy...he just doesn't. I mean, maybe he has feelings for you as a friend, probably not even that really. He didn't go out of his way to try to contact you again. It's been years, hasn't it? He doesn't care. You need to move on from him. Let's say you guys do get back together. He'll have free reign to cheat on you and mess with any girl he wants because he'll know that you won't leave him. I hope you would but it sounds like you might not considering you have no problem that he's fooling around with a couple of girls. Guys who "fool" around are not ready to commit to just one girl. If you want him for yourself you'll never get that. Move on, sweetie. Don't go down this road. I have so many girl friends who hope to have relationships with guys they love, who do not love them the same way, or even like them anymore. It's sad to watch.

    I'm sure you love him with all of your heart, but hun, you have to love YOURSELF more. Because I guarantee that if you ever got back with him, you're just going to be one more heart in his jar.
  3. justastrangegirl

    justastrangegirl Well-Known Member

    Thank you for your honesty, HelgasAngel. I know you're not saying this to hurt me. I know everything you wrote it's true, I just don't want to face what it means.

    I'm just so tired of being always alone, tired of being the "forever alone" girl everywhere.

    By the way, I LOVE your nickname and your avatar, I used to watch Hey Arnold every day after school. I can relate to Helga though, a misunderstood girl misjudged by her appearance and afraid to show how she really feels.
  4. HelgasAngel

    HelgasAngel Well-Known Member

    Yeah I think Helga is the top female cartoon character of all time. Brilliant depth to her. Another favorite of mine is Ginger off "As Told By Ginger.":)

    Well I know you may not be ready to face it, but just remember that sometimes the boy you want isn't the boy you deserve, you know. You'll probably be alone for a long time before you find someone, but the right boy will make you forget you were ever alone at all. So it'll be worth it. I promise.