I miss you grandpa

Discussion in 'Mental Health Disorders' started by Kache, Sep 5, 2013.

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  1. Kache

    Kache Member

    7months. Today is seven months that you left us. I know it wasn't your fault or choice. Not a day goes by that I don't miss you. I'm so used to seeing you everyday and night I can't believe it has been this long. I still wish I could hear your foot steps down the hall. Or give u a kiss good night. I have this lump in my throat that won't leave. I have a constant pain in my chest. I yearn to hear your voice and see you drive up. I miss the coffe you would make. Grandpa I miss you. I get so mad that you left. I feel like the world has shifted and I have taken all everything you left. I feel like the man of the house. When I get up to take grandma to run arrends or anything Iget mad and think WHERE ARE YOU?!! YOU are SUPPOSED TO DO THIS!! Then I get sad. And I remember you had no say so in the matter of your death. I told you to not stay. To go. To be free of the pain you felt. To let go of your struggle. Your body was weak and could not contain your strong mind or will to live. Then after the sadness come my stupid self pity. I am so lost and confused. I feel everything. It's all so intense and I want to lose it but I know I can't because I promised you that I would be strong and take care of grandma. She was your world. And in your honor I will do what I promised to. I can't stop crying or even express to anyone what's goin on inside because we are all hurting. You are the biggest loss in my life. How did I get this far? How have I managed to live with out you? When I feel pain? How can I sleep? How come I can eat? I can't believe it's been this long. Time has gone so fast yet so slow. Your birthday is coming up and I dread it. I hate it. I can't remember ur last birthday. What did we do? Was I there? I couldn't remember u with me on my last birthday? Am I losing my memories? Have I forgotten you? I know I miss you. How do we forget? Or I learning to live with out you?
     
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    7mths hun is not a long time at all You are still grieving and that is ok hun In time you will start to remember your grandfather without so much pain and more happier memories
    You cry if you need to cry show the others hun it is ok to express your pain if you need to . You have to remember to take care of YOU ok hun take some time out and do somethings that use to bring you happiness so you are not overwhelmed with grief If you can talk to a councilor or a church person you trust minister priest whom ever hun do so ok
    They are educated in helping us through our grief hugs to you
     
  3. Acy

    Acy Mama Bear - TLC, Common Sense Staff Member Safety & Support

    Kache, I'm so sorry for your loss. :hug: Grieving is filled with all the confusion and emotions you've mentioned. It takes time to process a big loss and some days are easier than others. Birthdays can bring on all kinds of feelings and memories.

    You have written a lovely tribute to him. It sounds like your grandfather was a wonderful man, who provided strength and love to you and your grandmother. Those are good things to focus on...remembering the gift of time you did share with him. He lives on in you now.

    Perhaps for your grandfather's birthday, you could light a candle in his honor or float a flower in a local body of water. I'm sure he knows how much you miss him, and also that you are following the love and wisdom he gave you.

    Again, I'm sorry for your loss. Reach out to us anytime.
     
  4. emily83

    emily83 Well-Known Member

    i am sorry for your loss.

    so hard when you lose a loved one
     
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