well, today is may 7 and 25 years ago last night i lost my mother. it was may 6 1988 and on that night our school had a dance and my oldest brother who passed away in dec 1 2008 told me that mom would want me to go to that dance so i hugged her in the hospital, told her i would be back later and went to the dance well that night about 730 my brother had the doctors pull the plug on mom and she passed away. i never got to say goodbye to her. i was 15 at the time just about to turn that sweet 16 on may 30 th and did not know that on that mothers day may 9 1988 i would be buring my mom. i thought that i would be able to go back to the hospital and tell her that i love her one more time and huge her but i could not, she was already gone and i could not say goodbye or that i love her anymore and i wish i could take back all the things in my life i did wrong or how i treated other people in my past because you never can tell when you might lose them and its hard to lose them when so young. i was 15 almost 16 and i remember at the funeral i was ok and then at the cemetary i was ok, not really crying at all just kind of in shock i guess but after the minister got thru talking and we had went back to the cars i looked back and i wish i had not done so because i saw them lower her casket into the ground and i lost it. i think i cried so long that night and i still go by her grave every now and then and talk with her maybe i am crazy but i think she hears me. i often think about all the things i have done wrong and the many mistakes i have made with people and i know i am not perfect i just hope someday they can see and understand i am only human and i remember when i snook out at night and my mom caught me, she whipped all the way back to the house with a switch on my legs i had many welps on my leggs but she did it because she loved me and if only i could turn back time i would not have gotten mad and cursed her out but i was young like 12 i think or maybe 13. i wished i had more time with her but the Lord needed her more i guess. i remember a time when my youngest brother and me were riding a bike and he outrun the rain, i know its hard to believe but he did outrun the rain and i got soking wet lol and i remember talking with her in the bedroom while she lay sick and if only i had made her go to the doc maybe she would have gotten better or could have cured the cancer but mom hated doctors and did not go, and i remember making her go one time and when she went they put her in and she never came home. for a while i blammed myself because i made her go but the cancer took her from me and it was not my fault although i kind of blammed myself for it. if any of you still have a mother please chaerish each and every moment with her as much as you can cause i dont have one anymore. God needed her more. and i admit i tried to fill her place a few times and one was with a minister and his wife who had the same birthdays as my mom and dad, weird i know but i cant replace and was afraid i would forget her forever but here it is 25 long years later and i am a 40 year old still very much missing her mother wish she was here, wish i had of had more time with her. mom i love you and i miss you. its been 25 long hard years and the pain is still there and deep but i know i will be with you again. loving you always. if you still have your mom, spend time with her and dont forget her on mothers day without her you would not be here. mothers always sacrafice so much for us and most of the time we are not thankfull enough and should be!