I miss you

[Null]

I know its been 9 years but it doesn't get easier.

I still have regrets for not being a better son. I'm sorry I didn't see you in the hospital. I feel like its my fault you died, like some how I gave you cancer. I feel like I killed you somehow. I really don't know why I feel that way, but I just do. You passed so quickly... Had I known, I would have seen you. I just thought you were sick, I didn't know the pain you were hiding.... I'm sorry you couldn't share that with us.

I'm only glad your not hear today to see how I've wasted my life, and how pathetic I am.

I'm sorry mom, I still miss you.

 

[total eclipse]

I am so sorry you loss your mom to cancer hun NO you did not give her the cancer hun that illness hits so many these days. Please know you mother is with you in your heart hun and she would only want happiness for you she would not want you to be sad hugs

 

[1Lefty]

I lost my mom to leukemia, and during her first round of chemo, she was acting like it was just the flu and she would be back to work. She didn't want anyone to worry, so she didn't even tell her own siblings (my sisters and I did). I think part of it may have been that she was in denial herself and didn't realize how sick she was.

It's been 22 years for me, and I still miss mine, too. I don't think that feeling of loss ever goes away completely.

(((hugs))) I know it hurts.