Empathy and Advice Welcomed I need people to motivate me to do "basic things".
- Thread starter Fbr27
- Start date
You are correct: confronting mistakes by yourself is rough - been there. But whatever you have done life will get better. But boy is it rough at the time. I used to console myself that I didn't hurt anyone but it was cold comfort. I was miserable.
I will pray for you. Life will get better but it's rough getting to that point. What pulled me out of my misery was knowing I had god, family, and friends who love me. I don't know where I would have ended up if I hadn't had the support. I don't know you in real life but if I did I would tell you that you are a beautiful person. Keep going; fear will ultimately be defeated. If you want to pm me, feel free.
I will pray for you. Life will get better but it's rough getting to that point. What pulled me out of my misery was knowing I had god, family, and friends who love me. I don't know where I would have ended up if I hadn't had the support. I don't know you in real life but if I did I would tell you that you are a beautiful person. Keep going; fear will ultimately be defeated. If you want to pm me, feel free.
Know that you are never alone. Your Creator walks with you and loves more than you realize. Every day, every where you go He is with you. You are safe and secure in His presence. No matter how you feel or what you do He is there. Your mistakes are forgiven before you make them. His love surrounds you forever, it is eternal.
Now say this to yourself.
I know that I am never alone. My Creator walks with me and loves me more than I realize. Every day, every where I go He is with me. I am safe and secure in His presence. No matter how I feel or what I do He is there. My mistakes are forgiven before I make them. His love surrounds me forever, it is eternal.
I love you and will pray for you. You are safe and secure. Love
Now say this to yourself.
I know that I am never alone. My Creator walks with me and loves me more than I realize. Every day, every where I go He is with me. I am safe and secure in His presence. No matter how I feel or what I do He is there. My mistakes are forgiven before I make them. His love surrounds me forever, it is eternal.
I love you and will pray for you. You are safe and secure. Love
Thinking about your failures is a trap. No - it's like a snake in the game snakes and ladders: you slide right back down to the bottom and have to drag yourself up all over again. No matter how much you think about your mistakes, you are not going to change them. They're in the past. You can, however, probably change some of the consequences of those mistakes and failures. To do that, you need to take action. Make it a goal to take one positive action every day. Use this forum to post here and tell us what you've done.
If you need a place to start, you could begin by writing to people you think you may have hurt in the past, apologising for your mistakes. This will turn a negative habit - brooding on the past - into a constructive one. Be honest, and don't expect replies. (But I think you might be surprised).
Good luck! I am rooting for you.
If you need a place to start, you could begin by writing to people you think you may have hurt in the past, apologising for your mistakes. This will turn a negative habit - brooding on the past - into a constructive one. Be honest, and don't expect replies. (But I think you might be surprised).
Good luck! I am rooting for you.
Sure thing. I can do Tonglen for you... It's a meditation practice centered on compassion where we breathe in the pain of others, and breathe out relief for them. More here: https://www.lionsroar.com/how-to-practice-tonglen-meditation/
There are different perspectives, as with anything. The above link is Pema Chodron's explanation. I went with that because it's very accessible and down to earth. Her books are great, too.
Unsolicited input, but when I struggle with basic self care, I will use a wall calendar and a checklist. Every day I complete my checklist (brush teeth, eat good food, etc) I put a plus on that day or circle. If I don't, then I leave those blank. The objective is to see how many I can string together in a row. There are also phone apps for this, but having something that I can see on the wall keeps it front of mind. I haven't read the research, so take this with a grain of salt - I have heard that checking something off gives a little boost in dopamine. This is why it feels kind of satisfying to do.
There are different perspectives, as with anything. The above link is Pema Chodron's explanation. I went with that because it's very accessible and down to earth. Her books are great, too.
Unsolicited input, but when I struggle with basic self care, I will use a wall calendar and a checklist. Every day I complete my checklist (brush teeth, eat good food, etc) I put a plus on that day or circle. If I don't, then I leave those blank. The objective is to see how many I can string together in a row. There are also phone apps for this, but having something that I can see on the wall keeps it front of mind. I haven't read the research, so take this with a grain of salt - I have heard that checking something off gives a little boost in dopamine. This is why it feels kind of satisfying to do.
I've been carrying my failures, with me for a long time. I think looking at them is a good step. You have to realize that at the time you made the ''mistakes'' you did what you knew then, how to do. You did your best with what you knew and your circumstances at the time.
I tell myself this. I have had ''mother's guilt'', constantly beating myself up for what I think was a mistake. I know, looking back at it where my mistakes were, but I can't change anything. All I can do is the best I can do every day. If you're able to access youtube, there are people coming from all walks of life that will talk about things like this. One new channel I watched is called ''The functional melancholic''... basically he says the world has taught us wrong. Spending time in school learning some things we will never use in life.
That's only one part of it. It's basically saying that reality is harsh, but learning ways to cope with what you have now, and maybe learning new things, such as building or painting or drawing something that only you can make. Only you know how the world looks to you, no one else can see it through your eyes. I'm sure there's talent there, and you've been helpful on this forum, you are welcomed here.
If you could start by doing one thing you can afford to do, and make it a hobby, maybe that would help you focus less on the negatives of life.
I tell myself this. I have had ''mother's guilt'', constantly beating myself up for what I think was a mistake. I know, looking back at it where my mistakes were, but I can't change anything. All I can do is the best I can do every day. If you're able to access youtube, there are people coming from all walks of life that will talk about things like this. One new channel I watched is called ''The functional melancholic''... basically he says the world has taught us wrong. Spending time in school learning some things we will never use in life.
That's only one part of it. It's basically saying that reality is harsh, but learning ways to cope with what you have now, and maybe learning new things, such as building or painting or drawing something that only you can make. Only you know how the world looks to you, no one else can see it through your eyes. I'm sure there's talent there, and you've been helpful on this forum, you are welcomed here.
If you could start by doing one thing you can afford to do, and make it a hobby, maybe that would help you focus less on the negatives of life.
I know someone who calls this "Body Doubling", just having someone present when you do basic things helps a lot in doing them. There is something about someone being there which gives the tiniest amount of support, just enough to keep going, even if they are just doing their own thing. This also works by video call, even if youre not actually talking.
You just need someone you can see and hear who can see and hear you too. Do you have anyone who can simply be on a video call whilst youre trying to get stuff done?
This is so true, and so damning I think I will develop depression again if I keep watching to the end of the video, and I'm only 95% kidding there. I can feel my soul dying as he talks.
You just need someone you can see and hear who can see and hear you too. Do you have anyone who can simply be on a video call whilst youre trying to get stuff done?
This is so true, and so damning I think I will develop depression again if I keep watching to the end of the video, and I'm only 95% kidding there. I can feel my soul dying as he talks.