I need to escape.

[cult logic]

I can't stand my family anymore.

I'm done. No more. When you have a dream where you murder each and every one of them and savor every second of it it's enough.

I have to get away, and it's either them or me.

Me would probably be less work, but at the same time I can't stand the thought of their deeds going unpunished.

Whatever. I can't be pissed when I'm dead.

 

[crookxshanks]

i feel like that a lot with my family but i have to remember that you cant choose them and so try my hardest to keep them at arms distance. not to let them get to me as being emotionally involved can drag you down. maybe thats what you need to do.

i dont know your situation but trying not to let them get to you must surely be the better alternative than to wanting to die

i am so sorry that you are feeling like this x :hug:

 

[Stranger1]

If you don't mind my asking how old are you? there are always options. You just haven't thought about them yet..

 

[cult logic]

I'm 15. If I could I would be the hell out of here.

The longer I'm stuck here the more and more they push me.

I KNOW that I will eventually snap and kill them.

They incessantly attack me, and cannot comprehend reason.

The only thing people like that understand is physical force.

I'd rather not go down as a mass murderer, so it's probably best if I'm not here.

If they left me alone and let me have my own space and privacy I would be fine, but they can't just piss the fuck off.

 

[justafool]

I hope you find some time to make calm, rational plans for what you will do to get away. You can probably think of someone who you might be able to live with for awhile. You need an adult ally to make your escape work out for the best.

 

[mdmefontaine]

i hope things improve for you. . you must have valid reasons for your rage. . and i hope you feel heard, here at least. if not in Real Life.

please continue to reach out - it may help you - now. do you have someone to talk to in real life? sorry if i have missed a post that would explain, my apologies.... but. . i think you do need to be heard. and then you can get some help in learning how to deal with your feelings.
re your situation at home - you are a minor - and if you are being mistreated, then there is a lot of help available for you. i don't think this is always a good idea - but in some states in the u.s. (where i'm from. sorry, not sure or forgot where you are hun) you can petition the court to become an 'emancipated minor' . .. means you effectively, become your own legal guardian. not sure of that age, maybe 16. i just wonder what has caused these intense feelings you have - i am wanting to make sure you are not abused at home, re something you said in your post. . .

and . i want you to have someone in your life to HEAR you.

ok. i care . :hug:

 

[cult logic]

The problem is that they KNOW I ahve mental health problems and aren't stable, but they egg me on anyway.

Everything would be fine if they just left me alone.

But they don't. I have always had rage problems, and have snapped. However now I'm at the age were if they make me do that bad things will happen.

It's a strange feeling when I get that mad, my vision gets blurry and it feels like I'm leaving my body.

I'm just glad I have good self-control.

I just have to stay away from them, maybe escape into the world of one of my games for a few hours.

I'm rambling, so I'll stop.

 

[Stranger1]

You should check and see if where you live you can be immancipated like Terri said..It's 16 here in the USA. My daughter became immancipated when she was 16 because her and her mom were always at each other..All she had to do was show she had employment...

 

[flowerpot]

hey i know exactly what you mean, well mostly (though i don't think i'd ever kill someone)
my mum drives me up the wall & it's so bad i literally have to go out walking for ages to calm down
it's unbearable & so frustrating, can't stand it
but then i always feel so guilty afterwards
try writing them a letter, telling them what they do to frustrate you, ask them if they can't be understanding to just not talk to you at all

 

[cult logic]

New Hampshire has no emancipation provision, you're stuck with your parents until the age of 18 or high school graduation, whichever comes second.